jerry's blog: "Lost Serenity"

Today has been one of those days.A day of reflection frustration and bitterness.Its been a week and a half since I left.A life for everybody else while no one noticed the real me.Faking happy all the time almost costed me my spirit and soul. Now I am all alone.Thinking, pondering and wondering if I have enough to make one more push in this life to obtain a fulfillment of life I have always desired.I guess being alone is how we recharge.Maybe I will stay that way for a while for I feel so weak inside myself now.I feel like giving up but I can't.I am not going to give the powers that be the satisfaction.For I am not a coward.I have always hated it here,every since I was able to comprehend things.I have always felt I am better than this place and look at it as my prison.Maybe thats why I struggle with myself so much here.For now Fubar has become my matrix.I find peace here......for now.Although no one talks to me.even though I try to talk to them.It seems that everybody is hung up on how popular they can be with their witty statements and profile pages.As for me what you see is what you get and what you read from me is me.I keep it real.I have a few people that I really like on here but they are to busy being stuck on themselves.Except one.Although she says nothing,she buys me a drink everyday.I find solice in that.I like this blog section.I found it the other day.Here I can get it out and I really don't give a shit if anybody reads it or not.Just as long as I feel better after I am done.See....I feel better already!