jerry's blog: "Lost Serenity"

 I am back to my matrix of white that will be turned to black after I complete this.Being out of the dating scene for so long I am finding that women have changed a lot.Not that I am looking at this point,cos I am not.I am still getting myself together from what I am dealing with now.Plus there is a big shy factor that I will have to overcome being that I have deeply fortified my heart now to fix the major damage done to it over the years.After being truly into this site for the past two months I have found most of the women to be disingenuous to say the least.I'm sorry I am old school.I was raised by my grandmother and she taught me honesty and respect for girls and women at a very young age.I miss her alot,especially now.We all have preferences and I understand that.I happen to be very attracted to women with long dark hair.When I was in high school way back when.I had a lot of girl friends.I had a big 1970 pontiac station wagon and could load it up full of girls and we would go out and party.They knew I wasn't a dog and trying to get into their clothes.So the trust factor was great.Plus the rumors going around were fun as well.So I felt I could gain some girl friends on this site being that I had to drop them all when I got married and I have.Just two and for right now that is fine.I really miss the conversations.I could talk to them about things I couldn't talk to the guys about. However yesterday and this morning I was doing what I always do.Which is to come to fubar and get click happy and I will click on the women I would like to become friends with.Two decided to initiate a chat session with me.Ok,I am game,just chatting right?After checking out their profile,and I read them all that I chose.The profiles didn't say anything about themselves so I asked one of them were they going to add anymore to her profile to tell more about herself?I said I was just trying to get more aquainted with her and that I liked her.Well, that was the wrong question.Why is everything sex and money oriented now.I am not like most guys nowadays looking for fresh meat to pounce on.It seems that everything between men and women is turning so animalistic.We are better than that.Now it seems instead of being honest and respectful,the younger women on here seem to want you to lie and talk dirty at them.Sorry that's not my style.So for the women that may read this please understand that if we get to know each other I am not looking to hook up with you.You may be physically attractive but I want to see how attractive your heart and mind are.Because the physical dies in time,however the heart and spirit is time continual.