Ki's blog: "Inquisition"

...of the dating world...

That’s where I’m at now…. Gone from the dating world for the last 6 years.
Although, I wasn’t very good at it in the first place so now I’m navigating…
I’m too straight forward, aggressive, to the point and I don’t play the stupid “Playing hard to get game”. Which let’s face it…that’s just how guys work…even the ones who say they don’t. They find more appeal in the mystery with a hint of tease…then the real thing. It’s perhaps unattractive to them that a woman would like them “a lot” and be open about it?

I’m thinking this is for a few reasons….
One it puts a newfound pressure on them. Like “Oh crap…she really likes me…now what? I only like her just a little….or Do I have to show her affection back now? Then they mentally hyperventilate and start doing the ‘hint’.
Secondly, if it’s not reciprocated….your just in flat trouble. This goes for the girl and guy. The guy is overwhelmed with not wanting to ‘hurt’ your feelings and cause drama…and the girl is left heart wide open and completely clueless….

Both sexes are so hard to read and understand…

Men are so casual…usually wanting to go with the flow of the relationship not wanting to put ‘titles’ on anything…leaving things as they are, not exploring or talking about things…completely emotionless… “it is what it is”…

Women on the other hand…over think…talk too much…emotional…drama…
Yet with a good woman, the guy will never have a doubt of her affection and will know he can always trust her. How many of you guys can say with assuredness the girl you are dating/seeing will never cheat on you? How often has it happened in the past that they have? Did you ever feel smothered by them? That they were too clingy? Did you tell them this; give them the subtle hint that you needed ‘space’? Be careful what you wish for….
Guys don’t want clingy and smothering
Guys don’t want overemotional or drama
Guys don’t want ‘too much’ of anything (ha except sex)
But then they want someone genuine, honest, trusting, sweet….
They want someone to come home to, to feel loved by…feel wanted…
I’m sure deep down...they are just as lonely in the darkness of night…as they try to fall asleep…as we women are...
So where’s the compromise?
I have no clue….

So then…it is back to playing the ‘game’…of seeming interested yet not 100% available, keeping them wondering etc. I horribly fail at that part. Perhaps I’m just a simple girl and games escape me.
My close female friend keeps telling me to not be serious with anyone and explore the FWB(friends with benefits) lifestyle. I’ve never done that….I don’t even know what it really means to be ‘no strings attached’ kind of girl. Not only that I can’t help but think how slutty id be viewed…which I’m just not…
Besides…I get emotionally attached when I’m intimate…that’s just how I am, which I think is sweet. It means something to me…the person I’m with means something to me….and that person will know who they are….

Besides…what do all these terms mean nowadays? Here’s how I remember it…but it could have changed since then (6 years ago)> Please add feedback and I will add into this post other ‘titles’ that are out there!

-Dating> not exclusive, being with other people, going on ‘dates’, emotions only kind of involved, no expectations, only 40% interested in the other person life
-Seeing someone> exclusive? More than just dating, emotions involved, expectations are built, 100% interested in others person life
-No strings attached (FWB)> not dating, no emotions, no interest in each other’s personal life, only sex
- FWB THEN dating...its like a test guys want to go throuhg...if the sex is good FIRSt then we will see how we get along. I have a feeling this is how men do dating now....

So where am I…? At dating I suppose…until someone wants more…

So I share this adventure with you….because that’s just how I am. I love verbal exploration into the unknown. Feedback from guys would be great too….because although I may say a lot…I have NO clue…left with assumptions…I walk with no trust into the dating world….