Ki's blog: "Inquisition"

Long Distance Relationship

I’m an internet guru…IT geek…so I end up finding some of the most eligible men…online. So in that, I met someone named Jeremy…lived in South Carolina…and he burned me really bad. There’s some pertinent things I learned from this relationship thing we had that I think needs to be thrown out there.

Overall LDR are HARD. It takes a lot of trust, communication and commitment from both sides. Here’s something I’ve designed for myself and others to follow…guidelines.

1. Both interested in each other. Being in a LDR where only one person is interested and the other isn’t WONT work. I think this one is pretty obvious and doesn’t need explanation. Although once a guy starts dropping back on communication…I assume he isn’t interested anymore and move on> I suggest you do the same if he does it to you.

2. Reassurance. I AM a person who needs A LOT of reassurance…sorry…that’s just who I am. Especially if it’s LDR. I’m meaning reassurance in the fact that the guys IS interested…this is done by their actions. Which actions are hard since it is less physical, but they can still show their interest by calling every day, keeping in contact any way they can.

3. Communication. I mean talking every day, Because you don’t see each other physically…communication is all that is left. The only way a LDR will work is if you keep constant contact with each other. Now it can be text, IM, phone calls etc…as long as it something. I hate…not hearing from someone within a day…and I’m ok with simple texts…b.c it’s still some form of connection still between us. Now I know…people have their own lives to live and get busy. The difference is when a guy is really into you, you become part of that day anyways to where contact with you is just like their cup of coffee in the morning…gotta have it.

4. NO naughtiness(I.E naked pics, naked web cam, phone sex). Guys are soo into this…. That I think it clouds the realness of a relationship. Sure after a long while- like a month or 2, then you can start sharing dirty pics and really being naughty over the phone, but before that I think it cheapens a relationship.

5. Building trust. I have no trust in a guy anymore when he says he will call, text…anything b.c I have been burned so many times by them. Now I have these high expectations and a guys got to seriously prove himself. Why should I settle for less anyways?

The reality is im not sure how to hande LDR's...whats 'ok' and not ok to do. Do all the typical dating things apply? Or is irt done diffrently? I'm just not sure anymore...

But i do know...that I’m tired of sweet talking from a guy who’s LD,who then doesn't follow through and leaves me in the dark. I’m ready for someone who naturally will follow these steps b.c he IS interested and willing to prove it. If the fact that I have these high expectations scares them off…then they weren’t that serious anyways. No one should settle for anything less...