Ki's blog: "Inquisition"

Every so often we meet someone that leaves an imprint in our memories. Something special about them that we couldn't let go...emotions and feelings for them staying in The back of our minds and hearts.

These people are fortunate enough to stay with us even after they are gone.Things happened that cause the relationship to go astray.
Since starting this dating 'journey' I've had the painful 'pleasure' to come across 3 unique men that have left said imprint on me...on my life.
There's no going back to them...
No do-overs...
I cannot undo the things I've done or said...
It is what it is..and now ill always remember them.

It's not completly hopeless...I've learned immensely from these men..things that prepare me to be a stronger,smarter woman in future relationships. Learning more about me - the good and the bad.

I've learned that I give my heart away to easily...
I'm too eager for something more to be there..
That I put too much trust and faith in their nonchalant sweet talking...
That I get attached to a sexual partner if I'm not forwarned that its just FWB to them...
That I'm complicated and overshare my complicated life too much...
That I'm annoying ...compulsive...pushy...aggressive...too blunt and unfocused....

But I'm also full of love...honesty...integrity..passionate...kind...giving and funloving...
My man would always know how cherished by me he is...
I'm trustworthy...and my guy would never want for anything and never worry I would cheat...

What's life without lessons to teach you along the way? Yes...there is still pain from time to time when I think of them. But through that pain I've learned more about me... dating...and guys then I knew before.
I still have hope that any of them would come back to me....but I'm also aware the damage has been done...and ill never hear from them or see them ever again.

Everyday I learn something...and every day I am challenged to harden my heart and guard it more preciously then before...and then learn to let go....