Over 16,536,762 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?
The "Emotional Leap".
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where, after initial contact (most likely because you were attracted to a profile pic, and a response because the other party was attracted by yours), a few conversations with someone, either you or the other party begin to develop "feelings"? Pfft...who are we kidding? We've ALL had this happen at some point. Anyways, to continue... What do these new emotions do for you, exactly? Do they help you to better understand the other person? Do they inspire you to look deeper and see exactly whether or not this person is, indeed, a match? OF COURSE NOT. Early emotions, my friends, are the fly in the ointment...the top of a downward spiral. This is due to the fact that A)You thoroughly ENJOY that warm, fuzzy feeling of "connection" and want it to last as long as possible and B)have now begun fantasizing about this person, placing him/her in your life, allowing your mind to fill in all the information you haven't yet uncovered.
How many times has someone (or you) said something like "I just want to hold you in my arms", or some other random piece of useless mush that has absolutely nothing at all to do with how well the two of you will fit as a couple? My guess is that you've heard (or said) this quite a lot.
These early emotions also are the primary reason people tend to fall into the "dating pitfalls". Its our best defense against losing that warm, fuzzy feeling we seem to suddenly need so much. Another terrible phenomenon is that our mind no longer lets us communicate with objectivity and complete rationality. In a sense, we've already fast forwarded to the happy ending, and the rest is simply details we'd like to hurry up and get through.
Here's the bad news. Even WITH this information, you're still going to find yourself emotionally attached to others well before the due process. It's unavoidable, if you're actually trying to remain open and unguarded. So let me guess. A lot of you reading this have suddenly gotten a very unsettling feeling in the pit of your stomach. Trust, though, that all hope is NOT lost. As long as you RECOGNIZE these feelings for what they are, continue to communicate openly, attempt to discourage fantasizing, and do your very best to avoid the common "dating pitfalls", you may still survive dating hell, and find yourself in a more stable, easily maintained relationship at the end of it all. Patience is the key. Force yourself to have some. If you have to, set the guidelines for that other person...both people need to be on board, here.
Good luck out there. :)
