Johnnymontana's blog: "Thoughts on the Sundry"

Years ago in college I took a class in the Radio-TV department at the University of Montana that was taught by the chair of that department and a man who had been in tv and radio broadcasting for most of his life.  Basically, he taught about coming trends in communications and the way people would interact with each other in a new world of mass communications. I took this class in 1981 before any of us owned a computer in our home, in fact, before most of us even had an inkling of what computers were about much less having seen one. One thing he talked about is the way we would meet members of the opposite sex online. What stuck with me was his comment about the creation of illusion that would take the place of seeing someone in real life who actually moves and talks and looks in your eyes. I remember many of us in the class looking around at each other and shaking our heads in disbelief as he talked about meeting our potential life mates without having to leave our home.  This concept was unheard of in the early 1980's, long before many current 20 somethings on here were even born.  It certainlly was nothing like my great conquest of Amy Rattinger in the 8th grade at Perry Jr. High in South Florida. 

Amy was the most beautiful of all the 13 year olds in our class.  She had long dark hair, was very pretty, had beautiful eyes and dark tanned skin. What made her particularly beautiful to a 13 year old boy was her overly developed chest compared to the rest of the girls in our school.  Amy sat two desks over from me in my last class of the day, 6th period world geography class. While Amy was beautiful I was about the diametrically opposed opposite.  Geeky looking guy who wore glasses and was shy.  I was however athletically inclined on the sports field and the quarterback on our jr. high football team.  Therefore I was a hot commodity to a 13 year old girl and was to stupid to know it. What I did know was I wanted a chance to touch Amy Rattingers chest and short of touching it at least have a moment where I was with her and she was with me and the possibility was somewhat plausible.  

We had a record hop every 3rd Friday night of the month at our school from 7PM to 11PM. I decided I would try to ask Amy to meet me at the dance since at 13 I did not own a car and we were dependent on our bikes to get us to the dance.  I thought I could dance with her and maybe during one of the slow dances feel those luscious mounds in some way. The problem was I probably would have to be going steady with her, as we called it in those days, to really have a chance to get near those Mt. Everest look a likes! Now 13 year olds going steady in do not talk much to each other. We would talk about each other to our friends.  But I was going to have to actually talk to her to go steady and then I was going to have to ask her to dance to feel them in some way.  It was almost to much because a 13 year old does not have a clue much less a plan but I did know  I had a chance cause I was the quarterback on our football team. Being the quarterback on a football team gets you many things you really do not deserve or are ready to experience. So after geography class one day I walked up to Amy in the hall where she was talking to a couple girlfriends.  The one you wanted was always talking to a couple girlfriends.  She smiled at me and walked over to me and that is the last thing I remember. I recall a few small things like shuffling my feet and staring at the ground.  I remember muttering words such as , " I like you", "wondering if you would wear this ring" ( you gave a girl cheap ring in those days to wear around her neck like you owned her or something), and several other incomprehensible things I can not recall now.  What I do remember is not being able to see her face because her chest was in the way. I also remember sweating alot. Typical day on Fubar come to think of it.

Well my plan did not work.  She was already going to the dance with someone else.  Probably would have been better if I had asked her a couple days before the dance but as we have already determined 13 year olds do not plan things out very well.  Come to think of it I see that alot online with adults. She did say, although I barely remember hearing it as I was running down the hallway in complete dejection, that she would go next month.  Thirteen year old boys do not know what next month means.  We have barely thought about tomorrow. I never went to any dance with Amy and never tried to talk to her again.  I think back on it now and wonder if she was waiting for me to do that.  She smiled at me in class and said hi all the time and was friendly.  Our football team went on to win the city championship that fall and I was popular with many other girls.  None had the attributes of Amy and I am convinced that this has been a mental glitch in my thinking throughout my life.  The one difference is now I can talk to women without taking my eyes off their face.  So something positive came out of that experience at least. 

So I watch for Amy on the little pics of people that scroll by up here on Fubar.  She would now be in her mid-50's and probably her gorgeous chest is sagging a little because we have been exposed to the forces of gravity for many years and it is beginning to take its toll. That is ok cause I have things sagging too.  I would recognize her I bet. And things would sure be different this time around I can tell you that for sure!!!  I could buy her a drink, send her a diamond ring, become her greatest fan, and maybe even send a friend request without shaking ort breaking out in a cold sweat.  Oh to know then what we know now.  We all have an Amy Rattinger in our lives in some form.  The good news is that we learn and grow and now, if we have done a good job at that, we understand that in each of those little pics that scroll by us on the top of this page, is a life filled with experiences. Best of all we don't have to worry about their chest getting in the way of their face.  Where are you Amy Rattinger??  I have it down now!!!  Or do I???  More tomorrow....