Subliminal's blog: "Subliminal Lies"

 

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help your black ass?!"

[NWA: Fuck tha Police / Amanda Fucking Palmer: Do You Swear to Tell the Truth, The Whole Truth and Nothing but the Truth so Help Your Black Ass]

 

"Now I am 33, unmarried happily

No plans in life, but I'm planning to keep it that way

I do kissing with only one mission

Do you like to kiss, then you have my permission

 

I've already spent too much time

Doing things I didn't want to

So if I just want to make out all the time

You can bet your black ass that I'm going to"

[Amanda Fucking Palmer: Do You Swear to Tell the Truth, The Whole Truth and Nothing but the Truth so Help Your Black Ass]

 

"How the hell did it get here?

I can still hear her cry the blues

Been in a daze for ten years

And she still can sing the truth

 

Heaven knows where we all go

When all we have is what we get

When it's gone then will I know

Then I haven't found it yet

 

Of all the gin joints in the world, I had to walk into this one, and there she was – with those big eyes, and that big voice, and the truth – nothing but the truth. Well maybe a few other things, like you know, a great pair of legs and that ass! Aw man! But I left it all behind, and like Yogi says, deja vu all over again. Well, let's see if she'll talk to me this time. Just blowing me off. Waiter! Check please..."

 

 

 

The truth is a fickle beast. They say honesty is the best policy, but really, I can contest that, from my role as a truthsayer. What it comes to is, people can't really handle the truth. Not the whole truth and nothing but the truth. They take it as... being mean? Calling names? Whatever, it doesn't much matter, but it is what it is – they don't like the truth. They can't handle the truth. Like – god, that bad Tom Cruise movie, A Few Good Men with the great Jack Nicholsen screaming YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! and as a general rule of thumb, it has become true.

 

Look at someone, watch them long enough, and you'll find some unpleasant truths, like the fact that their... well, we won't get into that. Every one I have found is a truth, a true-truth that is directed to someone, and even though I kept it anonymous, they would annoy me trying to figure out if it was about them, and remaining stoically silent on the subject would leave them to think/believe that it was – silence isn't golden, either. Though, it's better to keep your mouth shut, which is why I don't talk. Not a lot, anyways. Because I know I will say someone that will piss someone off.

 

I'm not an idiot, nor am I an idealistic fool. I do not like everything about everyone I know. No one is perfect, and there are bits of everyone that rubs me the right way, but on the whole they're okay, so I keep my mouth shut and just smile and nod... because, while I could rip into them with the truth, it wouldn't make them too entirely happy.

 

Personally, on a sidenote, I'd like to bitch slap every motherfucker who is looking for any form of "prince charming" or "princess docile" because these people don't fucking exist. No one is perfect, and anyone who expects their mate to be perfect in all ways, they're fucking morons who should probably be executed before the hard truth of reality strangles them in the undertow and leaves them a rotten floating corpse in the ocean.

 

I'm not pessimistic, fuck you. I'm an optimist and a realist. I'm a cynical optimist, because I'm aware, I'm cognizant that it could be much worse. Do Tori and I get along all the time? Is it hearts and flowers and fucking rainbows and perfect and like a bad acid trip on the Disney lot? Fuck no. We have our moments where we want one anothers blood, but we work through it. In a way, more or less. And I'm happy, because tit for tat, she's pretty much all I could ask for. We get along enough on the big things that it's okay. Sure, sometimes she's whiny and emo, but christ, sometimes I'm a brutal fucking asshole who has absolutely no tolerance for fuck all. Like tonight, for instance. I want blood at the drop of a hat, and I want it by the gallon. It probably won't be a good night for talking, or maybe she'd make it all better. That's possible, she has a way of doing that. Some nights, like tonight, she will either make it all better and calm the acid burning through my veins, or she'll set me off into a flaming fuck.

 

Which, I guess is how I segue into the truth.

 

The truth is, there are many days where I'd rather be alone. Like truly alone and away from everyone, even the interweb people who have no direct impact on my life. I want to be locked inside my own head with a stiff middle finger telling the universe to fuck off for awhile. It's those days – that – well, okay. Let me say this – I haven't had direct human contact with anyone other than my father in 3 weeks, and I'm getting into that mode again. It's becoming stretches of many days where I want nothing to do with anyone. Where it is simply more peaceful and all around better to be left alone. No im's, no texts, no phone calls, no smoke signals or Morse code. No telegrams or telepathic communication. Nothing, I just want to be alone in the dark, watching a movie, listening to The Ramones and thinking. Fixating. Fucking obsessing over shit until it's – as close to fixed as it can be. Or do nothing at all. To do my best NOT to think – what a joyous life that would be, 'eh? To be able to just switch the brain off.

 

It's the world of a dream. Unfortunately, I'm not an idiot, I'm not one of the docile masses. I'm not a square. I'm always thinking, always working in my head like a 45 on 78 speed (and for those of you who don't comprehend vinyl, fuck off) or is it a 78 at 45 speed? JK

 

Really... seriously... that would be wonderful. To have just one day where my brain is filled with static and not the dissonance of a hundred thoughts firing at once. I get snippets of everything, and not the whole picture of fuck all, and some days it can be annoying, but it's always daunting. And why don't I expel some of these things? Why don't I just carry around a notebook and do a true stream of consciousness? Because it would make even less sense. There is no punctuation in my head, it's like a jumble of ideas that makes sense in there but nowhere else....

 

Where was I going with this?

 

That's right, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help your black ass....

 

Loneliness is not a bad thing. It's not, and anyone who thinks so is drunk. We all need time alone, away from the world.

 

"Locked in a place where no one goes"

Led Zeppelin: No Quarter

 

Pretty basic, really. I don't know, I just feel like being alone for awhile... which runs into a dilemma. I don't want to upset, disappoint, anger, or do anything to Tori except make her happy.

 

Which involves talking nigh incessantly. Okay, that sounds worse than I meant it to. I'm as much for it as she is, and it sucks not being in constant communique. Hell, I tried to go a day without it, with just myself and no one else (as I don't really have anyone else that I talk to on an even remotely daily basis... they get to me when they can, and that works for me) ...and it failed. Abysmally. Mostly because.... I'm ... I dunno, I couldn't help myself. There was a handful of hours that we didn't talk, but yeah... whatever.

 

Was I going somewhere with this?

 

I don't know...

 

The truth is a double edged sword and it's best to keep your fucking mouth shut to not wrinkle the delicate balance of life. Your life, their lives – it's better to keep the truth to yourself because people fucking suck and can't handle it. Worthless scum. See? Truth that will surely piss off a few people.

 

Luckily no one reads this that takes me too seriously. They know to take it with a grain of salt and to giggle. Hopefully, if not, I have no time for those kinds of people.

 

Which is another subject unto itself...

 

Oh, and fuck Dr Phil and his "lying by omission" line of shit. He can suck my tiny cock and get fucking hammered by a donkey. He is a worthless cocksucker. There is a time to keep your fucking mouth shut, and nine times out of ten, it's that time for me.

 

So, really – fuck the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help your black ass!

 

 

PS. Just because you have epic tits and dress/act/look like a whore, doesn't mean you're cute or even vaguely attractive. Actually, it just means you're annoying. :D