Johnnymontana's blog: "Thoughts on the Sundry"

There are a couple basic truths in the universe, for example, jumping out of an airplane without a parachute is hazardous to your health except if you do it while the plane is on the ground.  The sun seems to rise every morning and set every evening.  Most importantly, men are born with a constant run of testosterone and women are born to have total control of the testosterone spigot!  This is a fact of life like gravity.  There is nothing any of us can do about it and it means that the ladies are in charge of the universe.  At least our corner of it here on this planet.  Guys, I am sorry.  We have spent most of the course of human history trying to show how dominant we are.  Yet that soft and beautiful lady over there need only expose a little cleavage and we are reduced to complete blithering idiots within seconds. 

Many people do not know that men are given an orientation on these universal truths just before birth.  I am not sure what celestial university does this presentation but I remember it clearly and know there was some nice looking man in white robes that was our instructor.  I recall there was a blackboard upon which was sketched a man and a woman in very limited anatomical detail. This is why from about age thirteen guys have a constant need to find out what a female looks like without clothing.  Anyway, in this class we are told that we are being sent to a world in which we are not much different from an elk in fall rut locking antlers with another equally horny male elk for the right to procreate their species with all the good looking females in the herd except in the case of human male elk,  the rut never ends and the herd is huge.  We are also informed that while we may act like elk we are actually meant to have one partner in this upcoming life and watch all the rest of the good looking females walk around us in cute shorts and tops with low cut necklines. So, we are told, you are basically being sent out on an impossible mission and any memory of this class will be erased in a puff of smoke as soon as you enter this new world. So get out there and procreate!!! With that little admonition we find ourselves yelping at the top of our lungs with some woman cleaning us up and getting ready to hand us to the woman who carried us for nine months.  That kind of sets the tone for the rest of our life symbolically speaking.

Now men, before you get in a rut over all this with me, remember this is a law of the universe.  I am just the messenger so don't start snorting and wanting to lock antlers with me. I didn't create this mess, I am just a participant and  I am not the only male that sees this stuff clearly.  Look at Fubar.  The whole system is based upon exactly what we experience in human life. We see a nice looking lady out and about somewhere and immediately the testosterone starts flowing at an increased level and we begin to drool internally and, in my case, while trying to act cool and debonair , turn toward her with a sensual if ill conceived look and trip over a chair I  didn't see because I was making eye contact with the ladies beautiful low cut top. When I recover from my near miss with the floor I buy her a drink and some symbolic bling. Don't tell me Fubar is not exactly like real life.

So men, you should take pride in your testosterone. Fortunately for us, the ladies seem to need what we have to offer. Just not as often as we would like to offer it.  Therefore we are reduced to doing things like making ridiculous pic comments, status comments, posting pics of our hairy chest and basically making fools of ourselves while the ladies get together and point and smirk.  But don't let that deter you guys.  All of this is simply a much less violent form of the rut we talked about earlier.  And basically harmless and good entertainment for the ladies.  We will explore this over the next few blogs from both the male and female perspectives and in the meantime I need to get my credit card out and buy some bling for some ladies here who I will never see in real life much less touch.  Don't tell me I didn't pay attention to my prenatal orientation.  I am on this like white on rice.  More tomorrow.