im finally sittin here with a smile on ma face
but i still gott my tissues here just in case
damn...not again i feel my heart begin to race
my eyes burn like ive just been sprayed with mace
no...tha tears i no longer wanna taste
while i cry all i think bout is how im such a waste
but then i think back 2 last night
i kno yooh hate 2 see me cry so i kept my tears bak with all my might
but hunz my happiness n pain are ina real fight
even now my chest feels tight
i make my tears stop for now
i made em stop?? wow.....
something bout last night has made me changed my feelings
no more tryin to stop my cryin by lookin at tha ceiling
no more puttin ma life on hold watchin tha paint on tha wallz peeling
im leavin this bitch
i jus need to git away from this shit
i open tha door tha bright light from tha sun blinds me but i dont even flinch
i stand at tha top of tha stoop my body starts convusin ina fit
but im not scared not even a lil bit
i smile kuz i kno its the old me comin back into me
i jump down tha stairs n flee
i must look crazy kuz peepz that usually say hi 2 me let me be
i run n run till i feel like i can no longer breathe
i stop...
wait...amanda y must yooh stop?
i tell myself keep goin manda dont stop till yooh drop
i find tha highest hill n i run to tha top
now i stop...
i stand there my lungs hurt my heart aches i start thinkin bout how my lifes been sucha flop
but 4 once since my loss i tell myself no its not
n as long as i keep tryin it never will be
4 once since my loss i relize how much i really do still love me
im finally able 2 aknowledge that she is me n i am she
and 4 once since my loss i now finally feel free
my heart is no longer filled with hurt
my tears will no longer stain my shirt
suicide...i will no longer fall for ur flirt
i have 2 much 2 live for
my daughter, my man, my fam n sooo much more
ya my heart tore
but without the above in ma life im nothin but poor
this whole time i thought i was a no1
i hated myself so much till i took this run
now i kno that i am tha one
myself, i will no longer shun
i love me, she loves me, n he loves me
i dont kno why or how this can be
but i now kno im finally free
=)
