willdamnt's blog: "Not so deep thoughts"

I just don't know where your world ends where mine begins, I walk in circles around the bed that I lie in I can see me but from both angles, I can see tears when I smile I feel the numbing pain of the dope slide into me I want to regreat it but before I can it seems I all but forget it I sleep with my eye's wide open. I'm stuck on the ceeling but feel nailed to the floor thier is a moment to myself that I will never forget, I shake I shiver even from time to time I qiver my brain misses moments my body fades from here to there i'm sure by now my soul is out wandering the streets alone. I'm up, I'm down if I could I'm sure I would wonder all around I hold onto the walls in my mind and let lose an awseome cry I beg the last moment to never repeat itself I streetch my strength to the limit I push my pain hold to the edge. I ask an empty room to forgive me I beg the outside voice to come back I can't even remember how it all started but now i know it's all about to end too asleep can't press on I see things I know are not there I taste food that I haven't had in years I smell home made jerkey like grandpa usta make I smell the hunnysukle tree I feel the dirt from the tamato garden  wander through the angles in the yard trip over an ocasinal orange wander to wash room smile at the black widow and wander off back into the bliss of pain fade back to the reality that is still me a tearfilled smile hurts more than broken bones or dead organs the heart remembers so much  the soul misses more,.. I really don't know what I'm saying I guess this is me missing all the past, the past that made me desire the future so much then like a sudden snap back to a cruel world a sudden beep and a release like being pulled from the Matrix the IV comes out from my vein the blood pressure cup comes off and the sudden taste of home is gone giving way to the hospitabal smell of steel poles hospital sheets and melow taste of Dilaudid. time for more zanax or another pill to adjust the anger or to fix the pressure or another shot for the hurt more medication than meditation makes me wanna go crazy the pool of thought is running dry and I wish i could stayin the coma,...