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What are you waiting for?
I want to go outside and open my arms and spin around in a circle until the world becomes a blur of colors and shapes. I'd laugh as the wind slithered through my hair in soft wispy carresses and the grass beneath my feet trembled as my feet moved across them into the dirt below. I'd smile and watch as you copied my every move and giggle with each circle we made, and when you got too dizzy I'd catch you before you fell. I dream sometimes that we'd sit together on a pile of blankets reading together, and you'd ask me questions and look onward diligently as the story was weaved by my words.
I imagine how much you've grown, how much your eyes sparkle with the light, and how much you've changed. We would race to the kitchen and make breakfast in the mornings, and i'd teach you how to flip pancakes and watch your eyes light up in awe. You'd try to take a peek and talk my ear off about how much you liked food.
I imagine two faces smiling at me, and sometimes I can even hear their laughs in my ear. Sometimes, when I close my eyes I can see them, and when I hug them, I can feel them in my dreams.
It's nothing that ever fades away. This longing for my emptiness to be filled.
It's nothing that can be remedied except by two little boys whom I miss so dearly.
I wonder if life is punishing me for some reason.
I look at myself in the mirror and question why life has led to this.
I miss them so much.
Words can't even explain.
