Bam Bam RL Hubby 2 Tigger's blog: "history"

So I guess some people want to know about me. fine here we go.. I was born in oklahoma.. and moved to texas where i grew up until i was 15.. when mom n dad got a divorce. where i moved back to oklahoma.. yay parental divorce.. had to start over with not knowing hardly anyone at all. it sucked. i went all through highschool in a little town called pawhuska oklahoma.. where i literally scraped by on the skin of my teeth. I was such an angry teenager.. i guess parents divorcing and a lot of other crap made things really hard. my senior year i got married .. to someone that supposedly got caught cheating on me with her ex. yeah.. yay for me again right? .. that took six years to get the divorce bc she didnt want to split up with me.. even when she was with other men.. writing me constantly.. i just couldnt find it in me to forgive my wife for taking my love and completely crushing it under her heel. It made it really hard for me to trust females.. and i dunno. anyway.. a year after i graduated in 97 i moved to san antonio .. woot back to texas!. i came down to help take care of mom who was real sick.. and did that for about a year without working.. eventually i found a job after mom was better and started working for the people that ran brackenridge parke with the sky ride and train and stuff.. and also worked for the owners son who had some food joints and carnival rides.

I did that for 4 years before i found someone that was able to catch and keep my eye.. and she moved with me for 3 months then we moved up to illinois and eventually had my daughter Cheyenne, then a pair of twins  a boy Tristan and a girl Paige. but paige was sick and in and out of the hospital. eventually she was put in the st louise childrens hospital and after several months they released her back home. she was home a week. and right at 6 months old and she and her brother fussing so i put her with her mom on her chest and would watch check on them once in a while .. when the next thing i knew kathy woke up and started screaming.. paige was blue and not breathing. I did cpr on her while kathy went to call an ambulance.. but she was gone.. her eyes were lifeless.. something that ill never ever ever be able to forget.. sometimes to this day i wake up from nightmares crying.

After paige passed away things were never the same.. our relationship died .. and on a fluke. i got fired from my job.. for unknown reasons other than they said i had not done anything wrong.. but had to be let go. ill never understand that... i was running a business selling stuff for SMC .. and selling Candles that were special made ect I was making really good money.. and after the holidays Kathy asked me to go visit my brother in missouri.. and i said ok whats a week. sure.. so we pack stuff for me and i head off.. and she leaves me with him.. 15 minutes later.. he tells me she left me.. i was like yeah i know she just left.. and he says.. no.. she left you .. doesnt want to be with you. The funny thing is .. she would disappear for 3 to 8 or so hours or so. and i would watch cheyenne and tristan.. and thought it was just part of her grief after we lost paige. it turned out that she was probably messing around with someone that she got with from her job right after she dumped me off.  score another one for making it hard for me to trust girls again....

so who has an identical twin that no matter how much you love em. you guys have an almost impossible relationship to get along!? "jumps up and down" Me. I wont go into what all happened but i stayed there a few months and ended up moving back to illinois to mattoon to try and be with someone.. little did i know i would end up homeless.. yup thats right.. 3 months in mattoon not knowing anyone but a new gf.. that ended up being bi.. and a psycho.. nuff said .. by the time i found a job that was permanant.. i was in the shelter 3 months.. i got a place a job and everything and was doing well.. i worked at walmart for about 15 months.

im gonna take a break.. look for part two sometime in the future.. its funny .. how writing this has totally and utterly drained me mentally bc of the bad memories.