so i have been thinking a lot lately and that is crazy for me lolol but i have realised that i am fucking insain!!! its absolutely nuts the thought that go through my mind... for example... i was driving home and the thought crossed my mind that i could totally drive my car off a cliff and noone would know for a couple days. there would be the "where the hell is she!!!" and the "dont she know she works today?" so on and so forth.. but really why the hell not? my life has never been ordinary or typical in any means. i dont think i would want it to. BUT FUCKING A!!!! when life has kicked you down to your knees and you there kneling bleeding to death but manage to find the strength to attemp to stand back up and right when you are almost virtical again your smashed in the shin with a fucking baseball bat it tends to get old!!! i feel like screaming out loud "im down im down!! how much more down can i get?!?!?! what do you want from me???!!!!" but i am so very good at putting a smile on my face and leading the world to believe that all is well when i an dying on the inside, screaming for help scilently.... hhmmmmm
can anyone help me? i figure no so i keep on trucking with that fake ass smile on my face and the secret screaming and crying at night when no one can hear or see me... this is me, this is my life. i guess this is what i chose...
