I should be sleeping since I have my final tomorrow but god knows that won't happen since my brain would rather have me think about shit. I'm really tired of this whole dating scene thing. I'm starting to see why I'm always either single or in a serious relationship. It's exhausting and frankly makes me feel like shit. Ever since crack whore dumped me I seem to be attracting only 2 types of guys, either guys that have pretty much all the things I am looking for and have no time for or can't be with me cause distance and seem to only want me for physical reasons or they are losers who I am not mentally or physically attracted to. I don't get what it is about me that draws these guys to me. It just sucks when someone that really doesn't deserve to be happy is and I'm getting bs. Everyone says don't worry about dating and work on yourself but contrary to what people believe I'm not that unhappy w/ who I am and my life. Yes, I'd like to lose a few pounds and yes I'd like to have a job and a license and a handle over my anxiety but other than that I like love me and where my life is going. I'm doing well i school and I'm proud that I'm finally going back, but I wish I had someone. I can't help that feeling, I like the security and I like having someone to support me and be proud of me and love me. Yes I am aware that I can get those things in friendship but its different that when you get it from that someone special and I know I'm not alone in feeling this. This whole thing has really been getting to me, I'm not a bad catch, yes I have flaws but so does everyone but I don't understand why I just attract this barneys. I don't want to settle again to not be alone, I already did and it crushed me. I just want someone on my level that I click w/ and am attracted to and likes me for more than the chance to fuck me, someone I can have something real with. I never that thats asking too much but maybe it is, maybe I should take it as a sign, maybe I think I deserve better than I do and maybe when I settle thats the type of person I'm worthy of. It just sucks when you are getting no where and when ever you think you found something it ends up being a facade and letting you down and all it does is make you question everything about you from the physical to the mental and it drains your worth and its even worse when you end up being not good enough for the things you settled for.
"Anything"-Incubus
I met the day
Feeling cheaper than usual
I guess you could say that I'm on sale
So take what you can while you can
Shop now, intensive
I could snap at any moment
And I might feel more expensive
I don't owe anything to you
I don't owe anything to you
You don't you know me half as well as you think you do
I don't owe anything
anything to you
I met the mirror
pressed it came from my ear
And in that moment I went unfazed
So take what you can while you can
Less conscious solely means more gold
I could snap at any moment and remember
I was not born to be sold
I don't owe anything to you
I don't owe anything to you
You don't you know me half as well as you think you do
I don't owe anything
anything to you
