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I don't think that I've ever been so quiet at work today. I couldn't really talk to anyone. I had a lot of stuf on my mind. I was sad most of the day. One of my coworkers said she can see something is wrong....said she never seen me so quiet and asked what's wrong. I couldn't tell her.
I couldn't sleep too well last night, which is pretty normal anyways on Thursday nights. But it took me a while to fall asleep like usual....thinking too much.
I think about certain things over and over again and wished to hell that I knew what I was doing...what i was going to do...I feel like a freakin' mine in a box or something.
Everything that I think about just runs in a freakin circle. I hate not knowing what I'm doing....but I know I have to figure it out cause I can't be like this...It's going to drive me insane.
I worry about how I'm going to hurt some people....even when it's hurting myself...I would rather hurt myself than anyone else. A lot of times, I just want to disappear...not like take my life or anything...but just...be somewhere else....but then once i go back....everything will still be there.
What the hell is wrong with me....:(
I feel so empty and lost... I need to find myself though. But when will that be? I wish that I could just rip the answer from my heart instead of feeling this way.
I just don't know anything anymore.....and it seems the more that I don't know...I'm just hurting everyone.
