Jaded Angel's blog: "Thank God , Im alive to see another day!"

Its been a while since I posted a blog.  In fact the last post was a few days after my near fatal semi wreck.  These past four months have been horrible.   He lost his job because of the wreck and now cant find work, Im still struggling to remember this wreck so I can move on, and three weeks ago I get into another wreck! This one in my own vehicle.  I totaled it out.  Not my fault and I got reinjured.  If that cant get any worse, he decides that we need to "take a break" from each other.  He just ups and abandons me.  I know it may have been for the best, but now I have no one to lean on to help me through this disaster in my life.  I know, get some big girl panties and move on.  But I just cant simply do that.  I can not move on until I can come to terms with this semi wreck that I can not remember.  The docs say it could be soon, or it could wait as long as me lying on my death bed to come back to me.  Either way, the longer it waits to return the more devastating it will be to me.  Im already an emotional wreck.  I have conteplating for some time to just end my life and be done with it, dont have to worry about this night mare anymore.  I just wish someone gave a flying **** about me.  But no one does.