Beautiful Angel SupportTheTroops's blog: "why i am still single"

i opened up my heart only to get hurt i sit here and cry not caring what i write i don't care about the fact that i am crying i don't care about the fact that i feel used i don't care about him i hate him ... i cant hate him i love him but i hate the fact that he hurt me i hate him for making me trust i hate him for making me feel like a stupid little child i hate the way he made me feel i hate him for making me feel like i could love and i could trust again then fucking me over i hate it i hate it I HATE IT!!

i hate it i hate the fact that i opened up my heart i hate it i hate the fact that i cant seem to get it right i hate it i hate getting my heart torn apart i hate it i hate the fact that i told him "i love you" i hate it i hate it that i thought he loved me back i hate it i hate the fact that i am crying over him i hate it i hate the words "i love you" cause i love you means nothing love is nothing we were nothing i hate it but there is nothing i can do about it nothing

i was hurt one to many times yet i always get right back up and try again to get my life right,just how it should be...sometimes falling in love is the best thing that can happen to a person but at other times it is a mistake from the beginning. sometimes it just wasn't ment to be..but oh well what can you do not long ago i was hurt bad, i was hurt so bad that i didn't think i could ever love again, but here i am learning to trust and love all over again...yes i will say that i don't trust as much as i once did but hey i am only human right? i am relearning how to trust and all that fun stuff that i didn't think i would ever have to do again, but here i am doing it..i don't fully trust men and i don't think i ever will fully trust another man again but i will trust to an extent..i will not open my heart up to soon though cause falling head over heels fast is never good for you never truly know a person..you never truly know what they other person will do..the words "i love you" hold very little meaning to me right now for love has been taken from me..the words that are ment to be the best words ever "i love you" were taken back..i lost love...i still held it for him yet he didn't for me and he told me so...yet here i am again putting myself on the line...but my heart will not go on the line..my heart WILL NOT get broken again..i will protect it at all costs..i will not fall for the words that mean so much but hurt so much when taken back...

i am sill single bacause i cant trust men, no offense to all you so called "good guys" out there but i will give you all just a little taste of the hell that i went through not that long ago i was too be married this Aug to the love of my life on his two weeks leave and yes ppl he is in iraq and i was faitful to him the whole time....well less then two months b4 the weeding he tells me he never loved me but the thing is he lead me on seeing how the day b4 he experssed his "undying love" to me and then a week later i find out that he has a new gf...i thought that was a bit fucked up but oh well what can i do huh deep in my heart i will always love him but i dont want to be with him ever again for the pain that he caused me.. so here i am at the presant time afried to love and to trust...i know that one day i will be able to trust but as of right now i cant...i am in the procees of forgiving him for the pain he caused me and i know that even when i do forgive him i will still be weary of men...that part cant be helped..but thats a litte bit why i am single and not looking