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So wally world pays me jack shit. Keeps cutting my hours and the like.... I'm honestly thinking of changing my availability to 12-7 and going back to the strip club in the evenings. They've changed shit around too. The girls have an hourly pay. No house fee. And you claim your tips (up to $50). I'm really thinking of going back for a few nights a week to help with this shortness of moo-lah. Any thoughts on the matter?
I mean I've been looking for other day jobs but its really not working out the way I want it to and with this I'll still be getting the same amount of sleep.
Stability and a centering balance.
The yin to my yang.
Pulling in my shattered soul,
Relaxing my over stimulated brain.
Someone to talk to,
Whisper all my secrets.
Wrapping protective wings around his charge,
He see's everything.
Looking deep withing my shattered soul,
Putting together the sharpened pieces.
Protective and ever vigilant,
Never blinking an eye.
Spreading gossamer wings,
He watches from up high.
Coming to me when I need my esteem,
When nothing seems right.
He comes in many form's,
The fox to guide me, The man to hold me,
The cat to show my my independence again.
And the hawk to watch me.
Always taking another shape to show me the way.
Protecting me never leading me astray.
Christian I may not be,
But always a guardian, and angel, watches over me.
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
Done it
2. Page yourself over an intercom. Do not disguise your voice.
on my to do list
3. Anytime someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
done it
4. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
on my to do list
5. In the memo field of all of your checks, write, "For Marijuana."
on my to do list
6. Skip down the hall rather than walk. See how many looks you get.
done it
7. When you go out to eat, order a diet water.
on my to do list
8. When you go to a drive-through restaurant, specify that your order is to go.
done it
9. When you go to an opera, sing along..
done it
10. If you are invited to a party, tell your friends at least five days in advance that you cannot attend because you have a headache.
on my to do list
11. When your money comes out of the ATM, loudly scream, "I Won! I Won!"
on my to do list
12. When leaving a zoo, run towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives! They're loose!"
on my to do list 100%
13. Tell you children over dinner: "Due to the bad economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
on my to do list
14. Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy. Go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.
on my to do list
I have never, in my life, been in so much pain. I woke up with a stabbing pain in my lower abdominal. It felt like I was being stabbed and it was coming in waves. I couldn't go to the bathroom in anyway shape or form. Went to my doctor. They did a bunch of tests. No std's. Not preggo. Not bacterial. So they sent me to a gyn to look inside with an inner ultrasound. Lo' and behold. Cysts ruptured on my left ovalry. Good sized ones. Then they go and tell me that I will (not may but WILL) continue getting them. I have a very severe case of endometriosis AND they told me I will never have children. I have maybe... MAYBE a 10% chance. Idk what to be more annoyed about. I hope the kids thing is wrong and its just speculation. I want to atleast have the option.
A friend of mine works walmart.
Well they just made up a new rule.
No dying your hair. Period.
You hair must be your natural color.
If your a brunette it must be brown. No highlights. if the sun highlights your hair you need to change it back.
They cant dye my hair red not even natural red.
The penalty is suspension until it it reverted back, or termination.
Now doesn't that go against your rights?
Seriously, I understand hair dying is a body modification.
But if that's the case tattoos and piercings (including ALL EAR ONES) should not be allowed either because that's a body modification.
Of all the things to fight over why hair?
It's not offensive.
It looks pretty nice if its done right.
It's creative and artistic and doesn't hurt anyone.
It also goes against title vii because the native americans, indians, african americans, and hispanics use henna to dye their hair red. It's part of their culture.
if you think think that this hair bull is a load of crap please message my local news crew like I have. I'm hoping others feel strong about their rights as Americans!
wwlp.com
contact them at the bottom of the page.
Frankly it is an invassion of our 1st amendment "Freedom of expression" dying my hair is how I express myself. If I was there I'd be pissed.
Who cares what your hair color is as long as its clean. Neat. And as long as you do well at your job!
The more people whom contact them the more of a chance there is they will show up at the stores meeting. The meeting about it is on the 19th at 11 that lasts all day. Chicopee mass walmart.
Please help me fight this injustice!
Contact wwlp.com their local station
I think this is fucked up.
So, this is one of the scariest days I've had in a long time. So here is how this started. From the begining.
I work at Wally world. All my friends know this. Well. I have this customer that comes in everyday. I see him ever day I work. Which never struck me odd before. You see. I work erattic hours. 6 am some days others in the evening. It's all over the place. Well. He see me all the time. I'm nice because I'm working. He's sweet and nice. Middle aged old man. He never buys anything. Just beelines for me and talks to me. Now, I have a hired ride too and from work. Some how this man knew when my ride had gone to Boston to pick up a friend. Knows my ride is in North Hampton. Knew when I went to NH. Spoke to me about it today. Spoke to me about NH another time. Knew what town I had been in actually. Which didn't throw me off until now because I thought i may have let it slip.
He asks me once ever other week if I need a ride home. Knew about last week when I was waiting in subway for my ride to come in. That was at 9 pm. Other times he's been outside of my work at 11:30 pm when I got out, offering to drive me home. I started getting creeped out. He sits and talks to me when I'm trying to work so I tell him I'm working and can't talk. Today he asked me if I needed a ride.
I said "No, I have one.", and he said to me "But he comes from so far away. I saw him in Boston"
I cocked and eye brow. "He doesn't live in Boston."
"Well, I see him in NoHo as well, thats where he's from."
I shrugged.
"Are you sure you don't need a ride?", He asked me.
I replied with "You don't know where I live."
"Yes. I do. You live *insert my address here*" And he smiled.
Then he walked across to the wall and stood and watched me for a few minutes. Entered our arcade that was next to him. Played shooter games. Came back. Stared. Paced. Came back. Stared. He did this from around 5-ish until 6.
He always comes and watches me. I always thought he was waiting for someone.
He follows me to the doors of my break-room talking to me at times as I ignore him.
I was wicked creeped out. So I talked to Denise, our csm. She told me after my break to talk to security. I took break. Stressed out. It couldn't pass fast enough. I signed back in. Melissa and Holly (the other csm's) to let them know why I wasnt getting on my register right away.
I went to security to talk to Sean, the security manager. They looked up my area and watched the guy doing this. Tell me how its really creepy. I ask if they can ask him to leave and they refuse. I ask if I can have a photo of his face to give to the police. They say no. They tell me to bring an escort to work and that there is nothing that they can do and its a matter for the cops, color me annoyed, and to let them know if he shows up and all they can do is ASK him to leave me alone. I went through work. Stressed. Twitchy.
My ride got me and I spoke to him. He mentioned at least once he's seen a car parked at the end of our street on days he's dropped me off, AFTER he dropped me off. Followed us then parked at the end of the street. We have had people follow us up my street before and drive by. It never bothered me before. A neighbor maybe. But so late at night. And fairly often its happened. But again. Specutlation.
I went to the police just to talk to them about all these odd things. They told me its not stalking unless he threatens to rape of kill me. Its not stalking unless he physically hurts me. That following me. Knowing where I live (when I'm not listed) knowing where I vacation. Knowing where my ride goes. That's apparently not stalkerish at all. Unless he breaks the law, threatens, or harms me they can do nothing.
He always tells me I'm pretty. Touches my hair sometimes. Flirts when I ignore him. Its scaring me. What if he follows me home again? So what am I to do, LET him do something to me????
Tuesday 11/17 Haven, then the rt 9 diner, going to NH
Wednesday 11/18 Vigil, cambridge, ma
Thursday 11/19 Resurrection, manchester, ma
Friday 11/20 Friday Night Decadence, Providence, RI
Saturday 11/21 Photoshoot
Sunday 11/22 Making time to hang out
Monday 11/23 Ceremony, Boston, ma
Tuesday 11/24 Haven
So, I moved last month and I've been off fubar since. No time. I have a day job. I'm taking horseback riding lessons and I've been full of life really. Just so much going on.
My band is playing out this saturday and I forgot to market it on her, all well. If anyone is in mass and wants to go to a goth concert hit me up before saturday and I will do my best to give details.
I'm dating. Was enguaged but he took it back and told me its was a "promise ring" I'm not ok with that and things may not last. Looks to me like someone has comitment issues and its not me... But shit happens and we move on. I will give him a chance and see if things get better.
Home has been depression. I moved in with my bf. And now I see less of him then I did when I lived with crappy roommates. I see him 7 hours a week because of his job. He works 6-7 days a week because hes a head chef and its putting a strain on "us". We don't have sex. We don't cuddle and we don't do anything. Im an affectionate horn dog of a woman and I lvoe my intamacy. He doesn't see anything wrong and doesn't want to talk about it. Sigh...
Ok so here comes the detailed emo rant....
I'm wondering if I'm making the right decission's. I mean. I live with him and I never see him. An hour a day. Half of it he is stoned and we dont really talk. I adore him but im finding as the days go on we have less and less in common. Maybe I'm just getting cold feet or over thinking things. I dont always do well in long term relations, I tend to pick really bad men and women and it wont last long. But things just keep getting complicated. And he never goes out and does stuff with me. I can't get him to go clubbing. He got out of work at 9. Could have gotten to haven by 10-1030 and had fun with me but chose not to. Only goes to the movies after Ive nagged to go. Its not like between the 2 of us we dont have money. Sigh, I'm just venting though so dont take anything to heart. I'm constantly meeting neew people. Going out clubbing (goth club), movies, photoshoots. And I'm all alone. I ride the horses with his mom but that doesnt make up for it. Maybe Im being flaky, maybe he is. God I hate being a libra. Im always weighting things out, over thinking. And I never get a straight answer. I adore him but I'm starting to resent him. I hate being all by my lonesome and I prefer to be all over my significant other. We dont even cuddle on the couch. Everytime I sit next to him on the couch he moves to the other one. He sleeps all the way on the other side of the bed and when I go to cuddle him in his sleep he always shifts away. Doesnt kiss me as often. Maybe moving in was hasty. Maybe I should have just gotten my own place like I wanted to with out roommates... but the price argh. sigh. Idk what is going on in my mind. But I'm given leave to do as I want too. I just don't for the most part. Flirting is one thing, kisses on cheeks because I'm allowed to. I just feel so lonely and unwanted sometimes. I want to feel wanted all the time. I do the laundry the cleaning the dishes and cook. For what? No snuggles no kisses and I get sex once a MONTH. He plays poker on his days off or if he get shome early. Am I wasting my time??
End rant
But yeah. Thats life as of late. Horses, work, home, tv, dinner on table for the bf, he comes home we est I go to bed. *shrugs*
Work has been ok. Pissy customers but thats retail for you.
I'm ranting. Bear with me. I mean seriously, I'm ranting and talking in circles in this blog.
So I haven't been online since tuesday evening. Been at Drew's house. Well, I haven't decided what I want to do at this moment in time. The landlord still bugged me after my post of "one more and I'm out of here." granted he hasn't since Matt spoke to him, but at the same time Matt told him the same thing years ago, hell months ago even. And that quiet never lasts long. Never... The landlord usually starts talking to me outside of phone waves and comes over. After all the sexual harrassments and threats ove the years I'm just so fed up and done with it all. The stress is too much for me. When I'm here I just don't sleep well any more. I don't feel comfortable in my own home and it doesn't feel like my home anymore. I'm on the fence as to if I want to move or not. If I move I have a place to go where I'll be paying VERY LITTLE. If I stay here, I'm paying 800 a month alone for rent with a 600-700 take home pay check and I down right refuse to dance anymore. Thats also to prove the girls wrong. I mentioned to my co-workers last night that I was quitting the bussiness and they LAUGHED at me and told me "You'll be back, they always come back, your addicted to the money just like all of us." But the thing is, I'm NOT addicted to the money. Psh, I only made enought to pay my bills any how. And some nights not enough. Atleast now I KNOW I'm getting a pay check. But yeah. I love my roommates, they are sweet. But they have issues paying rent. They still owe from last month and still need to pay this months and work is hard for them to find. And Matt still doesn't have a job but found all these legal things the landlord is going against so he would be fine, take the bum to court, he's in contempt anyhow from the last time we went to court. He was court ordered to fix certian things by this spring it was to be done. Well NONE of it got done. So he's fucked. Also by the new laws that were passed. He isnt't allowed to charge us $900 a month when someone moves in when our lease says $800 a month. And apparently he is supposed to pay our gas bill not our water bill unless its stated in the lease. (Matt's been doing his homework). So Him I'm not worried about. So yeah. Drew offered me to move in with him. It's only goin to cost me $200 a month, IN ALL. And its tempting. I can pay back my mom the money I owe her. I don't need to worry about losing my home. I don't need to worry about if I'm going to have good roommates or bad. Thats a thought that crosses my mind anytime I move someone in, are they going to fuck me over? Are they going to be cool? Do they make enough to pay their side of the rent? etc etc. And think is, and I didn't think I would hear myself saying this. I think I love him. I'm not saying in love but just that tiny step. Yeah thats going to piss some people off. But think about it. Drew has been my best friend for 5 years. And I saw him CONSTANTLY for 5 years. Hell we have a pic together from 06 from hanging out at the club. LOL after 2 years of hanging out I finally got him to sit still long enough.
Ok, Little back story. I met Drew when Bill first took me to haven. Haven was my birthday present and it was my 18th birthday. I met Drew there on that day and after that we hung out every week. Flirted chit chatted. Everytime one of us asked the other out the other was dating and annoyed that we didn't get the cance. So recently when we both found one another single we jumped on it. I'm never sad around him. He never annoys me to the point where I give him the cold shoulder or yell. When I'm sad he makes me happy. He calms me down when I'm freaking out... like when I broke my nose -_-. But in general he's been making me happy and wants me in his life. And lives close enough that it wont disrupt my life. At all. If we break up he moves back to his bedroom upstairs and I get the whole downstairs apartment for the same rent. So that also doesn't worry me. It's a "have it made" situation. So hence being torn. Wonderful place. In the woods. I MISS THE WOODS!!!!!! Where I can go hiking and fishing and work with the horses. And then I have my home in the City of Agawam with matt where I can't afford my lifestyle but I've someone around I can hang out with and play video games with who I do care about and would never want to hurt.
Over the years Matt and I have been through alot. We were enguaged at one point. Had out ups and downs. Lived together on and off for a good 3 years. Had puppies together LOL. And spend every day together still. Granted when I lived with mom he and I were apart but I still visited. Now I wont beable to because I wont have a car until March. If I move in with Drew he's getting me a car, or if I so choose I get his car when all his payments are done in March and I love's his car. It drive like the thunderbird I used to have. And then I can visit anyone I want. Sigh. I don't know what I should do. On one hand I WANT to move in with Drew and live there in the country I so badly miss. On the other I don't want to leave Matt hanging and possibly with out a place to go but eventually NEIGHTER of us will have a place to go because I can't afford my rent here and I'll end up at Drews anyhow. I've been over there since wedsday night (now that I think of it). Taking care of Bean, the horse that claimed me. I'm learninghorse grooming and sadling and I love it. I will be riding after the horse and I become connected. I'm learing the english style as opposed to american. I've also been cleaning out the downstairs apartment for when and if I move in. I'm really thinking I might but I also don't know. The offer is there and open and I will decide with in the next few days officially. *shrugs* Both sides of my heart or in conflict. My love for my friends. And my love for my hubby. Or is it my mind and my heart? I don't know anymore.
Would be nice to have a little feedback. Good or bad.
