This started of quite sane and declined down a slippery slope into an empty field with a gate.
Well, I have been asked some strange things in my time but the latest request has to be the most bizarre and probably the most difficult to reply or carry out.
I have just had a young man from Dubai who is actually from Sri Lanka, asking me how he can get married in England. He is Muslim and cannot get married to his American girlfriend in Dubai as it is not allowed.
That being so he has persisted on this route of marriage in England.
His girlfriend is 56 years old and he is 25. Age is irrelevant but it seems they want to live in Dubai after they are wed. Excuse me but there is not much in Dubai to shout home about except maybe a means of making money. I could be wrong but people I know who have been on holiday there say that there is nothing there but sand, flies and lots of new buildings. There is not history but I presume they have a coastline for holiday makers to wish to go there. No doubt that is a place where you could get a job but at 56 you would be thinking of winding down and not cranking it up. I don't know and don't really care but all I know is somehow I need to find out how two aliens can get married in England.
Thinking about it they will have to be resident here or some such thing but then maybe they can get married in Scotland where the laws are totally different. I doubt they will be allowed to be married in holy matrimony so it would have to be civil. This is not an easy thing to find out however, I was stupid to even begin the conversation. Do I look a mug or do I look intelligent - Pah, maybe I need to change my profile picture on WAYNMale.
Why can't they just be friends in Dubai rather than complicate my schedule. My time is precious as it is and I am still trying to get into a fantasy mode. Oh, if I ever get into that mode then I think I will stay there because life seems to be too complicated when I get embroiled on the sane plane.
Ah well, let me go and find an empty field to sit in and see who comes and sits next to me. Why me, why not sit over there? I don't know but it is the empty field syndrome, very similar to the empty restraint one - you know the place where you sit and stuff your face whilst being given the silver-plated service whilst you get the most amazingly boring people seated at the next table to you when the rest of the restraint is empty of people.
Of all the millions of internet users there are, why pick on me for bizarre business. Go and pick on someone with a modicum of intelligence and more to the point a maxicum of time. I don't think that is a word and don't particularly care but I just need to do 20 minutes of writing per day and it does not matter what sort of rubbish it is just as long as it is writing that makes some form of statement.
Oh, the sun is shining today and was it not for the fact that the light intensity is wrong, it could be a spring day. It is blowing a gale just like it used to in March - well that was in the days when, I was young and the weather was this, that or the other but not like it is now.
I could go on but even a drunk spider would spin a better yarn than I am at present, not because I am drunk, it is just that the sun is so bright that it is dazzling and consequently showing the dirt up on the windows plus the dust on the blinds along with the webs.
And she wants to get married, well I don't fancy the idea of spending my day wiping up sand and sweeping up flies that would be more tedious than looking at webs, spiders, dust, dirty windows and whatever else there is behind me like a pile of dirty washing from holiday. Yes, it is the last of the batch which I am waiting for more clothes to co-ordinate with them in order to make up a full load and as for the hand washing, well that can wait because I cannot stand on my own feet for long still.
I was reading some stuff that was written about five years ago or even just four and it made a jolly sight more sense than this does and another thing, I never got asked stupid questions then, so what has happened? Maybe he was only 20 then and living in Sri Lanka, foot loose and fancy free. This is going nowhere so it can come to a full stop and all I need to do now is find the field gate and hope this bad weather puts anyone off coming in to sit by me
