Am I the only one who finds it ironic that strap on backwards is no parts?

Put a condom on, darling... if you're going to act like a dick, you may as well dress like one!

I see those penis enlargement pills are really working for you... you're a bigger dick today than you were yesterday.

Some people just need a high 5... in the face... with a chair..

F*ck decorum.... f*ck social norms... I don't give a f*ck about social queues... and if you don't like my status .... I also don't give a f*ck about YOU! One day closer to Friday bishes....

Abracadabra.... nope... you're still a dick!

Making dinner... if I don't respond... you know why

You can't be an asshole AND have a small dick... pick a struggle dude.

Sometimes... something unexpected happens... and it's reckless, it's exhilarating and it's all you want... I love the unexpected!

Me!? Crazy?! I should get down off this unicorn and slap the shit out of you!

Some people just need a high 5... in the face... with a chair..

Put a condom on, darling... if you're going to act like a dick, you may as well look like one!

I see those penis enlargement pills are really working for you... you're a bigger dick today than you were yesterday!

Don't make excuses for him... you can't stick a flower in an asshole and call it a vase!

Abracadabra.... nope... you're still a dick!

K i K is im2ht2stp for those of you who kept whining about it ;)

I see those penis enlargement pills are really working for you... you're a bigger d*ck today than you were yesterday!

Broke my arm... lol but taking the boys to our dock... paddle boating and fishing today... be back in a bit... FUUUUUUUUUUUU ck YOU! xo

I'm not a proctologist.. but I know an a$$ hole when I see one!

Put a condom on, darling... if you're going to act like a dick, you may as well dress like one.