Babelini fuM 2 mike's blog: "blogs"

I sat down in front of the computer today with but a single, focused goal in mind: to write an ad that would inspire the man of my dreams to respond. I figure I only need one response if it comes from the right person. But my mind just didn't want to cooperate. The clock ticked mercilessly away for what seemed like an eternity, as I stared at the blank screen in front of me. I had horrifying flashbacks to writing book reports back in the eight grade. Then all of a sudden a brilliant idea spilled over from my shot glass of a brain. I should ask the people who know me best to describe me in such a way and with such clarity that you'll get an idea what I'm really like. And who better to ask than my ex-boyfriends, right? So I reached for my Rolodex and prepared to make some calls.

First on my list wasBrian. He's a fellow Harvard Law graduate and avid rollerblader, and one of the most level-headed, even tempered people you'll ever met. You could never imagine him getting upset with or holding a grudge against anyone. So I punched in his number and heard his beautiful lyrical voice come on the line. "Hello Brian, this is Reginna. I was wondering if I might ask you a few questions for the personal ad I'm writing…" All I heard was a loud, "BANG, CLICK, DIAL TONE." There's obviously something wrong with his phone line. Being a concerned ex-girlfriend, I sent him an email, suggesting he get it fixed. I'd hate for him to have a fire and not be able to call the fire department, right?

Next up was Jeremy. I originally met Jeremy when we took personal training class together, and we dated for several years, at one point even talking about marriage. I nervously punched his number in the phone, but a strangely familiar woman's voice came on the telephone. After talking for a few moments  she went off to fetch Jeremy, and while the line was open I heard a baby cooing in the background. Finally Jeremy came on the phone. "HelloJeremy, this is Reginna. If you have a few moments, I was wondering if I might ask you a few questions for the personal ad I'm writing…"He was silent for about 15 seconds and then came back with, "Do you think that's really a good idea? In case you forgot, I dumped your silly white behind, and married your business partner Christy two weeks later. Six months after that Fabio Jr, who you hear in the background, was born." Well, I guess that explains why the woman's voice was so familiar, huh?

At that point I was down to my last strike, and the frustration was mounting. On a lark I pressed the speed dial on my phone to see if there was someone at the stored number who could help me. A familiar sounding mature woman came on the phone. But she became hysterical and kept muttering, "Why don't you ever call, why don't you ever call, why don't you ever call…" Funny thing, my Mother used to say that, too. I should give her a call someday…


So now that I've swung and missed at strike three, it's time to go to PLAN B. Here's what I'm proposing: Think of a good joke, send it to me, and I'll invite you to join me for a nice dinner this evening. I was going to suggest L'Espalier, but according to one of my colleagues it's the French translation for "$$$$$$$$$$". Perhaps Teatro or Scampo?

PS: If you have an artistic flair, such as acting, singing, fashion design, photography or something similar I'd definitely love to hear from you!

~Reginna