15. Mayor Ryan Seacrest emcees the yearly Village Idiot festival.
14. You celebrate the Fourth of July in May, when the weather is nicer.
13. Anyone can easily bypass security at City Hall by dressing like Mayor McCheese.
12. The high school valedictorian? Jessica Simpson.
11. The locals don't believe in the teaching of education in the schools.
10. Schools and offices close on the third Monday in January to commemorate "Billie Jean King Day."
9. Revitalization hopes seem to be pinned on the planned TopFive Stadium.
8. Despite protests from the community theater folks, the city council recently banned thespian weddings.
7. The town's pride and joy: the world's only aquatic sports center/waste treatment plant.
6. Standardized tests suggest that the entire population does disgusting things with pencils.
5. Half the citizens are still preparing for Y2K, "just in case."
4. Despite 857 deaths in the past decade, St. Patrick's Day is still celebrated by leaving all the traffic lights on green.
3. Town stationery bears the official slogan: "Proud Birthplace of Woody Harrelson."
2. In the 2000 presidential election, the entire population mistakenly cast their votes for Rutherford B. Hayes.
...and Number 1 Sign You Live in the World's Dumbest Town...
1. This week's double feature at the Bijou: "Dumb and Dumber" and "Dumb and Dumber."
