PunkStarChik's blog: "Book Of Shadows"

I dunno why I started to break down crying when Rich's mom told me that Rich told her everything about us, about getting divorce. It's not the divorce part, it's that he's pretty much leaving me with everything. He's just taking the couch he's been sleeping on for years and his computer.

I think it's just more stress that's building up on me because not everything in this home is mine and I don't know what to do with it all. Yeah I can sell it and all but I don't even know where I'm going to be moving into...It just depends where I go..if I go to a small place, I have to get rid of a lot of things.

We're gonna have our talk on Monday, I just hope he doesn't leave me with a bunch of stuff. I've been going through stuff already, slowly. Going through boxes, tossing things way, stuff to goodwill, boxing things seperatly that's mine and his.

I asked Rich's mom what all he said and she said he didn't say too much. So I added a few more things to it and she just shook her head. Like she couldn't believe the stuff he has done and not done. She said she had the feeling something was up for months but didn't want to ask.

I just wish I could snap my fingers and make it all go away...that I was already moved into a safe place, got the divorce and all. I'm worried about where to move to..I don't want something too cheap, where it's not a safe neighborhood but cheap to where I can live on at the moment.

I'm a little afraid of doing everything on my own...I'm sure i could find som epeople to help me move and stuff... I dunno...i'm just stressing out even more. I'm actually afraid to talk to him on Monday because I dunno if I'm gonna get upset, break down, argue or whatever...i've got other stuf that's going on in my head that I need to get worked out... Im frustrated and stressed...just..I dunno...