Icarus's blog: "Somantics"

Discount coffee.

So one night I was watching Julia Child's omelette episode.
And about died.

No eggs in the house.

Zero.

But I got down the tech technique and hardware after I got my car

I can't quite do a snappy ass flip yet with my busted ass shoulder and my 8lb skillet

but ... I did make one hell of a two-egg omelette

I once watched a guy make this ... perfect orb of omelette
he was a french trained japanese chef that worked in a world class chinese banquet

... yeah that's confusing.

It was a combination of techniques, and I do in fact idolize that omelette.

He tapped, tilted and fried with perfect execution.

But I'll walk first.
With a trifold french omelette.

One of the simplest things to cook... one of the easiest to fuck up.

And I did it in my cast iron skillet on a lark
I heard such things were impossible.
but
my skillet heats evenly
thoroughly
and you can't do high heat on a non-stick.

They're serious about a few things folks.

Butter
Even coat, not browned
should be hot enough to bubble

the eggs should be room temperature, beat vigorously with about a teaspoon of water

pour the eggs into the center, get the pan coated

STOP

for like...
3 seconds
the eggs will settle flat and bubble in the pan
the pan should be hot enough for the eggs to audibly sizzle

then do this big sweeping, circular pan maneuver but emphasize the force toward the far point of the pan

a lot like turning a crank but pushing slightly at the apex

the eggs will crowd and mold toward the far edge of the pan, then you push, and snap

like a light upward misdirect-parry after a feint-thrust in fenci... oh right you didn't fence

Point is
crowd,
and try to get a rollover

this is probably the most difficult point
I managed to get ... about a tablespoon of egg on the floor
big props to doggy for the assist on cleanup

and got a partial fold and I just plopped the omelette in my plate at an angle that forced the tri-fold.

It was pretty.

And no

I didn't use any salt
pepper
or herbs.

And that would have been okay if I had

I did second guess myself though and pulled about 8 seconds late

I like my french omelettes

runny

in the center

this was finished medium.

There are times in my life where I've seriously gone learning disabled with cooking eggs.

There's something about the attention and precision in a 20 second time frame that gets me twisted up when I switch for a while.

The first thing I ever cooked was scrambled eggs.

I cooked them very well.
And whenever I needed a snack
I had eggs
I had a small frying pan
and I had matches to start the oven.

I think I was 8.

I'd put in a little milk, and I'd mix it in the pan
and I loved them with cold salsa.

Next was making my own egg mcmuffins (cuz my mom would make em, and wasn't always in the mood to make em) and I soon discovered that I preferred well buttered and thoroughly toasted english muffins
and RUNNY
fried eggs
on canadian bacon
with sharp cheddar.

Then came bi-fold
spanish omelettes

For some reason it came so naturally
like I had all the timing just... programmed in my head by this point

eggs were done on this setting in this skillet at this exact moment

fixins

spatula fold

flip
flip

plate
eat.

I noticed  that it all went out of my head the first time I made fried rice correctly.

And then I ate fried rice for a year.

My favorite is still left over country ham with green onions and extra garlic

It was six years before I could correctly make scrambled eggs or an omelette.

I attempted at several times in that interval, but found that I'd rather just do sunny sides over a ribe eye and white rice.

Then came the omelette episode.

... on good eats.

Heh.

It took about 2 dozen eggs to get down satisfactory technique and timing
but I got there
and my favorite trifold omelette is

... a trifold omelette

runny on the inside
thin
sometimes with flakey salt and parsley.

Though I've been known to dabble.

Purity.

Its a good thing sometimes.