LastCondor's blog: "I Dont even know what this is"

I dont understand the pain i feel,

is it fake or is it real,

never one to piss and moan,

but its cold when your all alone.

I miss holding her in my arms,

her sweet scent is one that haunts

so lord i pray please take away the pain,

its been almost a year this aint a damn game

my lifes been shot and its slowly bleeding out,

and no one hears my anguished shout.

i've made it loud as a bell it follows me everywhere i go

the devil promised to make it stop so i gave him my soul

but instead of that pain he gave me another

so how do you win when you dont have a means?

Im tryin to get out but i need to stop and take a drink

its scary in hell and no one understands

that what i carry around hurts more than can take a man

i wouldnt pass it on, even if i hate you

because it hurts to bad and it would just waste you.

I wish you could see just how messed up it is

and i've had this in my heart since i was a kid

Alfonzo please forgive me for not bein around

but we got that mutha fucker who put you in the ground

you and i was only six and it wasnt time for you to go

but we caught him my brother so now you can rest your soul.

You have your own angel now where the hells mine?

i need a pretty little hunie to keep me from losing my mind

and i dont just want another fling to go to waste,

i want a girl who can take me away from this place

take away the pain, take away the sorrow

take it all so i can actually face the morrow.

cuz right now i sit in bed all day

and even though the suns out i just dont wanna play

so if you think you can be the sunshine of my life,

please just understand that i've had a hard life.