While I sit and ponder
watching life go by....
Just breathing, trying to release the tension built inside
feeling like I am going to burst
with this pounding in my head,
never ceasing
the flood of words from the past...
whispered so gently on the wind
reminding me of where i was so long ago
only yesterday...
why does this continue to haunt me...
why do peoples words cause so much harm?
racking my body one minute, with streaming tears and anger
the next peace..with a comforting teasing grin..
why do most men come and go from my life...
but the true ones i can not let go of
the ones I want and can never have..
are the ones i seem to treasure the most..
maybe because they truly see me
accept me, and encourge me.....
ignoring my faults and loving me in some fashion anyways
and then again maybe i have already met the next in this treasured line
but maybe I can have this one....
if I could only separate the pain and tears from my past and future
I may finally win the battle I fight everday inside my head
my heart
my other dragons i fight...will always be an ongoing battle
I just need someone strong enough on my side
not to let me get away
with forgetting
with causing myself needless pain
but in the dark of night...the devils and demons play..
and i am but a product of this game of light and dark.