There are alot of things going for me at this time and at the same time there are alot of things happening to make me wonder why i even exist. I have got my GED now, which took me a long time to get...because i was scared and unconfident in myself......yet in the back of my head i knew i could do it, and pissed at myself for not doing it sooner. Work is going well and things of that sort are fine, im able to support myself and two other people......but now for the problems that i need to get off my chest...
To my loving father mordechai {aka anti-cupid...aka Vengence and so on} I love you very, very much, and hope things are going well which everytime i talk to you you have been down....and it hurts me......I wish things would get better for you soon, but for some reason it seems sometimes you dont need me anymore....or at times you in a rush to get me off the phone unless you have something in your life you want to talk about........I love you...and wish you get better soon.
My real mother jeanne is really sick right now.....the doctors dont know whats wrong with her and because she cant keep any fluids in her system she may die.....and even though she did alot of horrible things to me.....its killing me inside....all i want to do is cry and cry....with no shoulder to lean on.....and my father in san bernardino didnt really talk to me much either.....
I currently have two older men chasing me in their mid 40s.....and i dont know what to do, one works where i do and keeps calling my house for dates, the other lives downstairs from me and tells me he loves me.....the one down stairs is a really sweet man...he really is......but.....hes somoan and does voodoo.......and ive never had much experience with it, but everytime im around him......i dont know i get this feeling of my stomach moving around in circles...i mean he makes me feel beautiful and that i can do anything i want to.......but at the same time, when im around him...I get scared...he scares me and i dont know why.......and i dont know what to do.....I mean im a practicing witch and all...but his powers ive never seen before....nor the stuff he does or has....and for some reason it scares me to death but at the same time when im around him i can tell him anything in the world........and i mean anything.......and hes told me things about me that ive told no one except my clan...and they know who they are..........and their in another state...........Im just at a loss and dont know what to do............im scared and depressed and happy at the same time and its driving me crazy to the point i cant sleep and work like a zombie.............i feel like im trying not to let me get me and im my own worst enemy trying to save myself from myself..........lol i think theres a song about that.............but anyhow.....i dont know what else to say.....someone help me.....
