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standing by the river looking at myself in the water. i see a girl there that i do not know. in my mind i know shes me... but she is so unrecognizable. i remember a girl, wild and free, careless and spontaneous. always surrounded by people. people she thought were here friends mostly. she did stupid thing, made bad choices and didnt really seem to care about what the out come was. she was always in love, always trying to find "the one", the next hit, the next fuck, the next party. next next next. the story of her life. she wanted to be like a leaf in the wind. she was a moth to a flame. danger was her favorite thing. she wanted a good life but always chose the bad one. she was never happy truly, no matter what lies she told herself. the men she laid next to seemed like pawns to her, she wanted a knight, or even the king. she would do what she had to get to were she wanted. in the end she was the pawn. just an easy girl to pass the time. she had her heart broken more times than she could count. more times than she wanted to remember. she tried to be tough and play the game, but inside she felt hollow. unworthy. ashamed of all the things she did, even though she knew better. i know that girl. but this girl in the water, whose reflection is mine, i dont know her. shes got a smile on her face but you can see that there are many walls trying to hide that broken place. shes got a child in her arms that she holds onto tightly, as though he might fly away in the breeze. theres no one around her beside her or near her. shes alone. if shes afraid shes hiding it. who is this girl? i cant figure her out. i want to understand her...
