(Actually written 1/2/08:)
I saw a bumper sticker the other day and was puzzled slightly by what it said -- "Those who abandon their dreams, will discourage others." Although I wrote it on my hand, and later on in my datebook journal I received as a Christmas gift, it just didn't make sense to me until today. After all, eventhough I haven't achieved all of my dreams, I am still the cheerleader encouraging and empowering others to be able to move forward with their own dreams.
Today, though, I indeed had a v-8 moment and realized just what the bumper sticker could possibly mean.
For my living, I am an advocate for those who may not necessarily speak up for themselves. Currently, I have found myself being an advocate for the elderly as part of my vocation and passion and, as a rule, I truly enjoy what I do. One client though I have been struggling with to keep upbeat about it.
When I first started going to this client a few weeks ago, I was shocked by the care of his room. While he may have incontinence, his room reaked of urine all over newspapers, bed linens, clothes, and such. Apparently, he can't remember to wear his "briefs", the depends. That, in itself is one thing, and makes my job enduring as each week I have to spend 3 hours waiting for the loads to wash through and I don't feel like I can do this client justice fully because I don't feel like I have as much time to visit with him, but he tends to stick things in the toilet and stops it up as well (ie, apparently he doesn't like carrots so they end up in the toilet, which is very disgusting. I end up having to call maintenance of the facility to come fix the toilet. It shouldn't get to the point it does. The client has a phone; he could call for maintenance himself. He also walks to the dining room each day; he could tell the management office his needs as well, but he chooses not to. So, each week I return and I encounter much of the same thing. You would think that someone wouldn't want to stay in a room that smells like urine, much less sleep in wet sheets and covers each night. Each week I keep thinking to myself, "Why, then, do I put myself through such turmoil?"
The answer lays in the fact that I continue to hope that I can make a difference in this man's life, although, it appears that his level of care needs to be much higher. This man, who used to not even move out of the bed, does now greet me at his door each week so I am doing something right, it would appear.
Too, while waiting for the clothese to be washed and dried, I've met other residents that walk (or, ride) by and they either wave or stop to talk to me for a bit. I think that they are just happy to see someone else available to hear what they have to say about their day. Some of them are now even introducing themselves to me with their names and inviting me to go visit them in their rooms -- so many are just anxious to have company and companionship. Even in an assisted living facility, so many residents keep to themselves, which is a shame.
Earlier this morning, I checked my Fubar page just as anyone might check their MySpace page or emails, and saw one of my best friends indicate that he was having trouble waking up this morning. I called him and told him that, while he was having trouble waking up, I was having a great deal of trouble just motivating myself to move forward to go see this client this morning. We were talking about why I was having trouble in particular today and he set a positive tone for me by saying to me, "At least, you will have lots to blog about today," and he was right.
Although I am discouraged by this man's seemingly giving up on his dreams of having a great life in spite of his health problems, I am discouraged (just like the bumper sticker says). However, what relights my enthusiasm for returning each week is the brightened eyees and smiles of others I see each week at this facility. Today, I was surprised, too, in that this man didn't stay in his room while I was tending to his laundry down the hall. He actually got up and took the trash to the laundry room area and later he came down to the sitting area and talked with me for a bit telling me that the maintenance has come while I was down here. Not only once though, but three times! Maybe next week, he'll actually sit down and talk to me? At any rate, any progress made is certainly making way for encouragement that my advocacy is making a difference.
I'll certainly have to remind myself that, as I crawl out of bed next Wednesday morning, while advocacy work can indeed be very discouraging, it is encouraging to see when folks be able to crawl out of their hinderances (sometime created by themselves) and start getting a little more excited about life. That is the reward I get in lieu of great monetary salaries, a richness more fulfilling to living a life than making a huge income and not being able to stop and observe life for what it is. Humanity is a precious regard on this earth; unfortunately, most people are too focused on making the big bucks that they often forget the joys that would surround them if they would just stop and look!
