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Okay I'm just going to ramble on whats on my mind and whats been bothering me and shit so if you don't really care about whats going on in my life and such go somewhere else.
Okay its been about 6 months since I last worked... and its been driving me nuts. I started working when I was 18 my Senior year in high school. I am now 21. I feel worthless when I'm not working... I know I'm worth something but I like knowing that I'm doing something productive and its helping at least someone.
Been about 6months since I made the worst mistake of my life. Quitting my job and running away with a complete moron to have him just use me for a week and to send me back home. Yes it was a man I met on this site... thats why I'm careful anymore of who I talk to and get close to. That was just the worst time of my life... Hurting my family like I did and also quit a job that I was good at. After that happened my health went into a down spiral. I wasn't sleeping like I should of and was sick all the time because I just didn't know what to do... It got so bad that I had a major Sinus Infection, Bronchitus and Ear Infection which took over 2 months of antibiotics to get rid of. Yes we are still paying the bills for the doctors.
Finally, at the end of March I got the nerves up to trust another guy in my life... no idea why I did. He said he wanted a Real relationship. He asked me out. So i said okay why not. I've always been the kind of girl that I don't want to live with regrets of what could have been. Well into almost 2 months into the relationship and 5 days before my birthday he called me and told me he wasn't ready for a serious relationship and it was over.. but wanted to stay friends... but that didn't work for me... friends have my trust... and he lost it.
So now about a month later... I went back to seeing the guy I've dated off and on for about a year or so going on 2... I like hanging out with him and stuff... and it works out fine cuz I know what to expect from him and I don't get disappointed.
I'm going to be starting training for a new job. I will be working for Mosaic... a merchandising company that works with Walmart. Which I'll be working just part time for now... but they said there is advancements in the job just depends on how well I do. So it was really important to me that I finally got a job because I was so afraid that I wasn't going to be able to ever work again because of how I left my old one. So I'm really grateful that this one is giving me a chance.
I've been trying to do more artwork so I have that on the side... my drawings and I need to do some more painting. Been getting prepared for local art shows so I'm at least getting my art work out so that the public can see what I can do.
Been just trying to take one day at a time... if I get emotional... please don't just tell me that things will get better in time.. that doesn't help at all... all I like is someone that is willing to take the time to listen... It means a lot when someone does that. I maybe only 21... but omg a lot of people my age haven't gone through what I have already. I'd fill u in on all of that but I don't think you would care to know my life story... Just thought I'd write a blog on whats been going on and go over what this new year has brought me already...
Hopefully some good will come of this year...
