» Today is one of the days I could easily cross off the calendar. I didn't sleep much, had weird dreams and I have a terrible stomach ache. This morning I burnt my tongue and it hurts, and my mother keeps on bringing me down with her words. My thoughts are focusing on what I haven't got anymore and what I feel like right now. See the lyrics. That's what I think right now about the relationship. I know that it wasn't like that. Well, actually I don't know. But if all those feelings were just a game, he was damn good in playing his role. I dunno whom I can trust - head or heart? I really don't know.
» About the weird dream tonight. I dreamt of a huge spider trying to kill Moos and me. We were running away but the disgusting thing was much faster than us. We tried to outwit it but it didn't work... and in the end... well I dunno. I dunno if we survived. I just know that that dream ruined my day. Actually I was fine with the situation. I thought so. But now I see that I miss Moos more than I thought and more than I want. And you know what the funniest thing is? The alarm clock rang with Why can't you love me like before this morning.
Stay tuned, fuckholes.
Well painted passion
You rightly suspect
Impersonation
The dumbing down of love
Jaded in anger
Love underwhelms you
No box of chocolates
Whichever way you fall
No, no I'll get this
I want to treat you
You're still not famous
And you haven't struck it rich
Underachieving
'Cause no one's receiving
This tunnel vision
It's turning out all wrong
And if I tell you
Lover alone without love
What will happen
Lover alone without love
Will you miss him?
Lover alone without, without love
Raven is: sad
I get very sad when it gets to evening/night time. All the hurt that is hidden or forgotten during the happy daytime becomes apparent during the twilight and night time.
I feel guilty, stupid, embarrassed, misunderstood, ignored, alone, sad, pitied, irresponsible, bleah!
I feel like i've been let down, and that i've let everyone down. I feel tired physically and mentally.
I feel like a fool, an idiot. I don't know how to fix my mistakes, or even if i've made any mistakes.
I feel jealous.
I feel like i've betrayed people. I feel unresponsive, and aloof. I feel disjoint and detached.
I feel cold.
……..