Ok today i am some shit to unload so here it fucking goes.
Yesterday or monday i cant remember which the evil ex bitch comes to my office but they know to stop her down stairs annd dont tell me she is even there becuase well they have seen my reaction to her. To me she is the devil incarnate. That lying, backstabbing fucking cum sucking slut whore fucken god damn bitch peice of shit my she rot in hell. If you have not guessed i dont like the fucken slut. Besides finding out that the last year of my marriage was a fucking joke and just lies so i could be kept around just to pay bills i also found out that she had been fucking around on me. And all the while telling our friends that i beat here and that iwas fucking around on her. Now give me a fucken break.
I seperated myself from my family for that whore
I seperated myself from my friends for that bitch
I was working from fucking home the only time i was not home was when i went somewhere with her I was not allowed to go by myself.
I actually had turned in my resignation letter into the military and handed in my rank as an officer and walked away from it for her.
I finally broke and told her some of my deepest secrets and she looked at my like i was fucking nuts and then made fun of me about it.
I took her beating the living god damn fuck out oof me on god damn normal basis.
I took me and my son being treated like second class citizens in that household.
All becaus e i lpooved that fucken bitch. Not again the bitch will not get into my heart azgain. No i am not going to lie i do get pissed when i talk about it but dont mistake it for hurt or love. This is pure fucking anger and that is all it is anymore i am done hurting over that bitch and refuse to anymore. The that god damn slut after all those things send s a fucking email toiday and tellme how much she still care for me YOU GOD DAMN LYING SLUT WHORE FUCKING BITCH GET A GOD DAMN CLUE. I have never wanted to just knock the living shit out of a woman and i was raised different. But hitting her just once might get this out of my system but I WILL NOT BE THAT TYPE OF PERSON OR LOWER MYSELF TO HER. And as my title says it all in the end all of the lies that she told me and everyone else is what tore me apart and left me a wreck.
Now i must also say this after i had gotten over self pity I got back to all the things that she had seperated me from. And the real me came back. I have had to apoligize to some ppl for being a fucken dumbass along the way and thank the good lord i have good friends that understand and were glad to see that i woke up. Now along all this time I have made new friends and joke with them all the time. Now some of them have read my blogs and some have ideas of what happened over the last 2 years almost 3 if you include the time i was dating the bitch.
Then i found a friend that gave me truth all of it no matter what it was. This person all accepts me and all of my truth. I have even told her somethign that i did not tell the evil ex bitch until we had been married awhile. Now she has not asked all of the details about this thing and i am not going to lie if you dont ask i am not one to normally volunteer because it is my demon to live with my repentence to god for what i have done in my past. But as i was saying i told her and she accepted me as is still has not looked bad at me in any way. As she explained that is in my past and so be it. Now this friend ok ill say it *** has become my best friend obviously i could tell her a deep and buried secret.But she became a best friend that i feel i could have told this to anyway before some other things happening and she woulod have still accepted it. Then it grew from there and feeling started to emerge. Along with those feeelings were fear the fear of getting hurt again but those were at first. And in reality most of the time my blogs are a few days behind what i am feeling just takes me some day to discuss except for today. I have faced my fear and it is still there a little only because I have gone and fllen for ***. Now this is not a surprise to her at all. She knows how i feel. In fact I can now tell her that I love her and get a goofy smile when i say it just like i am probably doing right now. And when she tells me I Love You well i get a big goofy smile and all the bad of the day just fades away. Once again proof that you give me truth above all then that is eomthing truly wonderful. Becuase i have found a best friend that is also so much more to me. I would be lost without her. Now dont get me wrong i can still function with out her. But life is so much better with her. And we are taking things slow probably slower than anyone could figure but neither of us want to rush into anything. Although right now if we were a block from each other i am pretty sure both of us would start runnign the direction of the other. But that is just me thinking. Any way like i said there are a list of reasons why I Love ***. And well some i dont care to discuss in here because well they are fucking personal if i aint talking to you about them then dont fucking ask. Anywho I know *** reads this and i have to say sorry for unloading on you earlier baby and I Love You.
Later all
oh yeah if you think i call you a best friend then you know that you can ask me more questions of not then dont even fucking bother i aint going to answer you.
