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Most days i think my life is pretty gravy. I have a nice place in the country, i have lights, water, i never go hungry and i spend most nights piled up with my furbabies. Then there is that jerk side of me that wonders why i don't go out anymore, why i never had kids, why do i never get hit on at the store anymore? LOL guess it comes with getting older and i can resign myself to it. better alone than in a relationship with someone that wants everyone else, i can live with that i guess, i refuse to play 2nd to anyone again. wish ida figured that out a long time ago. i should count my blessings cause i really am fortunate to be this strong and independent. maybe one day i will find that one guy thats gonna prove to me he's dif and all others are wrong. we shall see. i dont think they really exist anymore. most of the ones here and in RL are friends to your face and friends to everything else in a skirt lol. maybe they cant handle me and my openness to just either be honest or fk off. i miss having someone to hold me, a warm body and someone to say gnite to, is it so hard to get the whole package? someone that wants to be with me, someone that wants to wake to me every morning and will be faithful? i won't settle for less so i guess i will be destined to stay this way. it's better to be lyin lonely than laying with a liar.
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