InnocentlyEvil's blog: "Ramblings Of Tasha......"

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others. I'm sharing this with other ladies and gentlemen to make someone SMILE, another RETHINK their choices, and another to be PREPARED. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.

Yes, it's the "100 things about me post." Why not, right? I mean everybody else is doing it. "If everybody else jumped off a bridge…?" No, shhhh. 100.My dreams are almost always symbolic and weird--when they aren't, they scare me! 99. I'm afraid that somewhere in this list I'm going to run out of things to say and start adding in mundane facts like "my favorite color is pink" and "I like chicken." 98. I have been a bartender since May and my favorite drink to make is a margarita on the rocks, with salt. 97. My last name should be Newcomb but my Dad changed it to Fleck when I was little. 96. I have ruined more than one friendship with a guy by letting the friendship become sexual. 95. I am unbelievably impatient. 94. I have done things that you would not approve of (whoever you are.) 93. My blood type is O negative. 92. I like being inappropriate. 91. I try to surround myself with people who are smarter than me. 90. I'm not confrontational by nature, but when I need to be look out! 89. I wish I had a green thumb, but I don't :) I do have one plant that I've kept alive for 6 months. 88. Try as I might, I cannot STAY organized! 87. I don't mind going to the gynecologist. 86. I used to watch soap operas but gave them up. 85. Blogging has fulfilled something I didn't know existed. 84. I wear a 38C. 83. I wonder who reads my blog. 82. I rarely go to bed before midnight. 81. I often stay awake for another hour thinking. 80. When it comes to something I love, I am hardworking. For all others things, I can be lazy and put them off. 79. I am indecisive. 78. I haven't spoken to many high school friends since graduation. 77. Capturing a moment in time is so much better then having some jewelery on your wrist. 76.. I secretly hate my cell phone. 75. I have "home" clothes that I lounge around in and "out" clothes for leaving the house. 74. If people show up at my door unexpectedly, I panic . 73. I have been engaged 3 times....almost got married once. Then I realized we didn't have my birth certificate with us. 72. Every time I hear my voice on an answering machine or in a video or something, I cringe. 71. When I was a kid, I was madly in love with Dylan from Beverly Hills 90210....I swore one day I would marry him.... 70. I twirl my hair around my fingers when I am bored or nervous. 69. I bite my bottom lip when I am horny. 68. I often find books more intresting than people. 67. I get irrationally annoyed when electronic things stop working (like my cell phone, computer, mp3 player) and want to throw them against the wall. 66. I am attracted to men who have strong, sexy hands. The same applies to men who smell good. 65. I don't really believe that there is a perfect somebody for everybody. I think that's too easy. I think that one person could be happy with a lot of different people, and that relationships take work. I also believe that some people are destined to be alone. 64. I do, however, believe in soul mates. But that is a whole blog in itself. 63. I used to think it was weird that people made friends online. Now I am fascinated by it. 62. I think Dane Cook is one of the sexiest men alive. 61. I used to write short stories in school and place my friends as characters in them....changing their names of course. 60. I love interior decorating and think I am actually pretty good at it. 59. I absolutely LOVE to listen to Janis Joplin. I think she had an amazing voice. 58. The first time I gave head was in the backseat of the guys best friends car.... 57. I am the most turned on by scandalous/forbidden things. 56.Some of the most intresting people I have met I met while in rehab. 55. I am not really a touchy-Feely person....although I do enjoy it sometimes. 54. I got my first tattoo in August of 2005 at my grandma's house by my cousin..... 53. I subsequently got 3 more after that within the next year. 52. I am a girly drinker (fruity cocktails, frozen drinks, anything sweet). 51. I am guilty of over sharing information with people who probably didn't want to know said information in the first place. 50. I enjoy embarrassing people....especially if they are related to me. 49. The longest job I ever had was as a Certified Nurses Assistant at Wabash Christian Retirement Home. I worked there for 3 months shy of 4 years. This was also my least liked job! 48. I have worked as a waitress, a phone sex operator, a fast food employee, a cashier and now a bartender. 47. I absolutely loved working at Taco Bell. 46. Most of the time I feel like a disappointment to my parents, especially my dad. 45. My first car was a 1983 Ford Mustang Convertible. I blew the head gasket in it within a little less than a year. 44. You would be hard-pressed to find something that I wouldn't try at least once. 43. I watch more cartoons now than I did when I was ten years old 42. I'm somewhat clumsy. 41. I love a man in a tool belt. I think it is sexy. The same goes for a man in a uniform. 40.I don't like it when people tell me what to do. 39. I ask a LOT of questions. 38. I love blog and picture comments. 37. I know CPR, but am not sure I could perform it properly in a crisis. 36. I will answer any question about me truthfully. I have nothing to hide. 35. I'm old enough to remember snap bracelets and acid wash jeans 34. I honestly hate Christmas time. 33. My full name is Natasha Lynn Fleck. But I think Natasha makes me sound like a Russian spy. 32. I once told a guy I was a Russian spy. He was a friend of my friend Brandi. We were just goofing with him. I even faked the Russian accent. 31. I smoked pot on a regular basis until I was about 19. 30. I view "I don't know" and "I was mistaken" to be the most important phrases you can ever use, and think everyone should use both of them a lot more often. 29. I think way too much. 28. I over critize myself alot more than most people. 27. I have cheated on more than one boyfriend. 26. I make a lot of excuses. 25. I don't know how to play poker but am fascinated by the game. 24. I rarely say I Love you to anyone but family. And almost never say I love you first. 23. When I say something dumb I hear my own idiotic, embarrassing words echoing in my head for like a full minute after I've said them. 22. I place liars and cheaters in the same category as ignorant people. 21. One of my biggest fears is that I will forever be the single mom and eventually become the Old unhappy maid. 20. Another of them is that I will never meet a man who loves me for me....... 19. I think that after some of you read this, you will think negatively of me. 18. I used to hope that Prince Charming would come sweep me off my feet, take me to his castle and make me his wife and we'd live happily ever after. 17. I hate pictures of me. 16. I hate having to focus on myself and on my actions and mistakes. 15. I miss the friends I had when I was with Jolley. I truly enjoyed hanging out with them. 14. One of my favorite memories is of flashing semi's with Ashley and Angie in Norris City. 13. One of my other favorite memories is of dressing as hookers for Halloween with Angie, Megan and Emily and getting a prostitution warning in Norris City for standing on the corner. (It was a joke.) 12. My two favorite dirty words are cock and fuck. 11. I love the old country music my grandparents listened to when I was growing up. 10. My cousin Richard was my best friend growing up. 9. I have done 97957429857429275849275 things that I regret ( Ok well maybe not quite that many BUT alot of them!) But wouldnt change one of them if I could Because all those things have made me who I am today. 8. I hate the fact that Dakota's donor has my initials tattooed on his arm. 7. I talk to my Mom alot although we aren't really close. I rarely talk to my Father because he bitches entirely too much. Then wonders why I never tell him anything. 6. When I was in high school, one of my life goals was to get drunk and/or high in every state...... I have given up this goal but would still like to travel to every state. 5. I hate feeling alone, which is 95% of the time and sometimes think I am the only person that ever feels this way. 4. I feel incredibly narcissistic for actually coming up with 100 things about myself for you to read, but I hope you enjoyed reading it nonetheless. 3. I don't like how everyone I know seems to have gotten progressively less fun since high school (myself included). 2. I really hope you're still reading this, because it's taking me far too long to write. 1. I spend too much time online.

Ok, I admit it. Maybe I am not the perfect daughter. I have fucked up. I have made mistakes. But isn't that what life is all about?! You make mistakes and you learn from them. Maybe I am a little more hard headed then some. Maybe it takes me more than once to learn my lesson. Honestly, Why does it even matter to you? I mean it's not like you have really been there over the last few years. Except when I fuck up. You always seem to be there to tell me exactly how I fucked up and what you think about it. Do you know how inadequete that makes me feel? Do you know how much that crushed me the first time you did that? No probaly not. Does it even matter to you? Sometimes I wonder......I wish I could tell you how much you've hurt me throughout the years, but the sad thing is that you will never know. You weren't there to see the tears I cried or the tears welling up in my eyes as I write this now. You were never there to tell me you were proud of me for something good that I have done. Only to judge me when I did something wrong in your eyes. I know I am not perfect. I just wish you could accept that. You say I shouldn't be working in a bar. You say I can do better. Well yeah of course I can BUT can I find something I enjoy as much as bartending? Probaly not. Yeah I know I don't need another baby, BUT It's here. There's nothing I can do about it now. Yes, Daddy I am almost 25....I know that. Do you think I am not reminded of that every day? Yes I know I am not married. Do you think that is something I fail to realize? Trust me it's not. But if one thing is apparent to me it is this. I don't want to marry someone and not know whether or not it is going to last longer than a few months. If I marry someone I want it to be for the rest of our lives. Like Grandma Gail and Grandpa Bob......If we have our problems, so be it. But I want to know that we will be able to work our problems out. I don't want to be divorced 3 or 4 times and then finally happy. I want to be happy from the begining. Maybe you don't understand that and maybe you do....I don't know....I just wish sometimes you could accept me for who I am...Flaws and all.

Well, I will be 20 weeks Thursday. So I have decided it is time to start considering names for the baby. These are by no means final decisions. Just random names I found and like. Let me know what you think or if you have anymore ideas leave them below. Thanks! Boys Names Aiden Christopher Ethan Cade Owen Diedrich Blake Andrew Colton James Bryson Alexander Girls Names Rhilynne Jade Rhianne Michelle Isabella Rachelle Emma Katherine Ashlynn Jayde Zoey (I really LOVE this name But I can't think of a middle name that sounds good with it. Any suggestions?) Marleigh Gail

Just some things I've come to think about life and its workings....... Life is messy. Sometimes things are just messy because they have to be that way. Because somewhere in the mess you eventually find some clarity.... Everyone knows the saying "Don't care what other people think about you." Well thats bullshit. You should care what people think about you and allow yourself to be seen in good light, and for who you are, what you shouldn't care about is how people judge you. Religion and faith are two very different things, yes I may be religious at times, and yes my faith sometimes involves looking to god, but faith in ones self, who the are, what they stand for, why they care has nothing to do with saying the Our Father. Be careful with trust, try not to hand it out to easy but do allow yourself to give it. Everyones definition of love is different. Listen to them all, though it may not be your way, you can always learn a new way to love. Relationships are hard. Any type, and don't let anyone tell you there not. No matter how you try, things change and if so be it, so must the relationship. No matter where you are in life, a laugh or even a smile everyday makes your world just that much brighter. Make it a point to really care for the people in your life and let them know you do. Heart and head are two different things. True; but not in this situation. Technically the head portion is the logic side of your brain and the heart is the emotional. It's still your brain so use both sides to come to an answer. I still cannot figure out which is harder, not giving up on people, or realizing that you need to. You can pretend all you want that your not affected, that you don't care, don't love,and don't feel for anyone. It's a lie, we both know it, I just wish you'd let the rest of us see it. Music is one of the best ways to read people, pay attention to what they play and you might just learn something. Try hard to bring laughter into your life, you'll be surprised how much lighter it seems. Allow yourself to take in the world, its culture, its growth, bask in its beauty and forget the negative. Get wrapped up in love............ but remember to bring yourself back. Don't forget your past.......its your link to the future. Grow in who you are as a person. Develop. Evolve. Its what were here to do. Eyes may be a path to the soul, but they're also a path to the heart. Look for it. Let your life be long, let it wander, let it travel. Allow it to be filled with moments that stop time and people that stop your heart

Can fairy tales come true? When I was a little girl I always imagined I was Snow White or Sleeping Beauty. I loved the idea that someone handsome, a real gentleman, basically someone perfect, would come and give me something amazing... A kiss. And everything would be ok. He would take care of me, be there for me every single day and every single night. I would be his queen, and we would forever be in love. But of course, like every dream, I had to wake up too. I realized that not everything we imagine can be magically turned into life. I realized that there are school buses, not golden chariots. Dirty mean boys who tease you. And as you get older, there are guys who'll promise to call, but never do. Guys who say they'll do anything for you but can't even come over to help you fix your... Well, something... You realize that life isn't perfect. And you should consider yourself lucky if your life didn't suck for two weeks. Little girls grow up too, right? But then even if we know that dreams hardly ever come true, still we can't help ourselves. Fairytales might not come true But is it possible that someone will come and sweep away the bitterness of the past? Maybe.

For some reason I woke at at 6:15 this morning.. I laughed at the thought that from somewhere deep inside me that the Santa's been here memory must have been triggered. I closed my eyes to go back to sleep and as I drifted away I thought of Christmases long ago. I remembered Christmas trees bright with lights in the early morning darkness, and I remembered my dad. I remembered having so much to see I didn't know where to look. I remembered being so happy I almost had no words. I remembered Christmas spent at Grandma Gails. I remembered Grandpa and his reindeer antlers. I remembered arguing with Richard and Valarie over whose presents were better. I remembered Dakota's first Christmas. I remembered how he really didn't want anything to with the packages.He was more intrested in the tree. I remembered the Christmas before last...spent with David.... I remembered how David gave Dakota the huge remote control Dodge Ram I bought him because they wanted to take it and play in the snow. I remembered last Christmas....spent in Charleston. It seemed Christmas memories kept flooding back to me. Needless to say, I couldnt fall back to sleep.....;) So I got up curled up in my recliner and drank a cup of hot tea as I continued to reminsce in the Christmas's past...... Today was truly a great day. Dakota had a wonderful Christmas. He got almost everything he wanted and a few things he didn't know he wanted...:D That in itself made today a perfect day. Just to see the smile on his face, to watch him playing with his new stuff....I can't believe he is almost 7 but that is a whole nother blog in itself.....

Why do we search for love? Is it just for acceptance? Is it the whole point of life? Why do we search for something that seems so out of reach that it would stop even the most lovestruck of fellows, yet we do not quit? Why are we obsessed with finding someone to share our time with, to ease and relax our pain, to talk to at 3 in the morning, to sleep with only for warmth? What is so special about finding someone to understand each and every word that we speak, or even the ones we never say at all? Is there something beyond survival that drives our lust for these people? Is there something more to life than just success, stability of mind and decent surroundings? Is there some fulfillment not yet carried out in our hearts? Something seems necessary about a relationship in society, the tangible status of togetherness, the lack of aloneness that normalizes a person to the rest of the world. Something makes a relationship a necessity, and the lack of it nearly unbearable. We turn to friends, to guide us, aid us, help us in times of sorrowed darkness, shadowed affliction where we find to great comfort, no simple whisper or pat upon the back, no gentle kiss nor slip of skin upon the arm or shoulder or lower back, saying things like "I'm here, we're here, and the world knows," to comfort and silence our worries of tomorrow. In that warm, thoughtful gesture of love we find comfort, peace and happiness. Though without those occasional gestures, something seems defective. Something is indeed gone, since our social image is halved in the eyes of normalized society - where is our other? Where is the oh-so-cherished better half? Where is the standard by-my-side symbol of stability? Why is the approachability of a woman gaged by her marital status and why does that directly determine her susceptibility both to rejection and cheating, abandonment of the necessity of love? The necessity of love. Such is the world today, or so it seems. It's both depressing and fascinating, that a human must find its equal to share its life with, else life be incomplete for its duration. It seems so unfair, and yet it is only that one human's fault, because how could one person be to blame for another's marital status? How could I hinder my parent's marriage, my sister's relationships? However, on the other hand, I can directly control my willingness to speak and act calmly and normally in front of a handsome man. I can directly control my willingness and ability to speak and recognize old friends who no longer recognize me. I am in complete control my myself. Therefore it is completely my fault and failure that I let opportunities of flirtation go unused. In my younger days of high school I would seize them with urgency, no matter my current status at the time, and hold onto them, shake them, pursue them until I found an answer. Maybe that was what I was looking for all along, the answer to the question. Why do we search for love? Why is this depressingly never ending quest for companionship the apparent goal of all life on earth? And why, for god sake, is it so damn hard? Aloneness is only easy to tolerate for so long; seeing couples across the room, happy, smiling, giggling, holding one another, is only bearable for so long. And then the ride begins to tumble. Life spirals down like a broken rollercoaster, down to the ground with a thundering crash and you know for sure that you've hit rock bottom. Only then, I suppose, can you be sure that you cannot fall any further. But how do you know for sure you've hit it already? And how can you be sure you won't hit it again? Depression can only be held off for so long. Tears can only be held back for so long. Friendships, no matter how new or old, can only satisfy for so long. And a young man in the face of life and on the quest for happiness can only take so much missing out and giving up. Whispering to himself doesn't work. Keeping himself up doesn't work. And once down, you can't pull yourself up again, you have to be strong enough to push yourself off the ground. But wouldn't it be nice if there was someone there to help make sure you weren't bruised when you fell? That's what I think. It's so damn hard to find anyone. And it's so damn hard to watch all the happy couples go by in their happy little worlds with their happy little faces and their happy little lives and think to yourself "God damn I wish I had something." "I can't wait to get the hell out of here" are constant thoughts in your mind. It's so damn hard sometimes. And the tears can honestly only be held back for so long. And in the darkness, at past two in the morning, the only one to talk to is yourself. The hurt can only go so deep and then fade. But you forget that it can always come back, and when you least expect. And you forget that it hurts and you want to cry, and you see everyone happy and you hear all the giggling and you smile and nod and wish them well, while inside you're cursing their good fortune, wishing nothing ill upon them - you would never do that - but wishing to God or Someone out there that someone would come along your way to pick you up and make you see that things are indeed not so bitter and hard as you had once thought. And life seems so tough and full, and obligations go forgotten until hours before they're pre-established deadlines and rushes to complete them are only as futile as the attempts to seize those opportunities of flirtation. And then you go unnoticed - again. The world won't see if you don't show, but how do you show when you're so nervous and unsure? Or is that the whole point? To overcome the fear of abandonment and rejection for the slight chance of a smile and a warm moment of heart in another person. Maybe that's the whole point of the quest for love. Maybe there are others out there like me, and maybe I'm not so alone. And maybe I'll end up happy in the future and successful and with time full of those warm gestures of love and of kindness, and of gentle hugs and warms lip-caresses until the sleep fades us away into warm nights together in clean beds and comfortable embraces. But for now, at 24, I am again forced to resign into another cold, empty bed with the sheets ruffled and the sides as flat as the mattress they rest on, to dream of something unrelated to my current troubles of heart. And tomorrow I'll wake up, depressed at the amount of forgotten work and the mounting day presenting new challenges in finding someone to laugh or smile or simply open themselves for a moment of kindness which I've been long denied. Though I know it won't happen tomorrow. Am I wrong to be set in my preconceived notion of aloneness and solitude and depressing singularity for yet another day in yet another small, relatively unimportant life? Compared to the world, my troubles are nothing, but compared to the world, my troubles are universal. Am I wrong to be this bitter, am I wrong to be this cold? Or is the freezing breeze coming through my window just another reminder of how I'm to spend my night asleep? This writing simply a method to express the sadness that soaks my bones and sometimes surfaces in unexpected moments of ordinary life? Of course. But then what do I do? Simply continue the quest? Of course, what other option is there? Other than to lay down and die, which I would refuse if offered the chance. So I simply trudge off to sleep, satisfied at least at having made headway on one of the forgotten pieces of work that loom so heavily on the darkened horizon. Continuous depressive writing is probably the most needless activity of the night. So I retire, likely to think about the same matters and let the tears flow, ever so slightly, onto the cold pillow on the bedside. Or maybe simply to dream. Only time will whisper, and only to me, coldly, as I tick away the seconds wondering when anyone will come along and warm up the heart in my chest.

Nice guys are like crocodiles who think they can expose themselves, open their mouths and the prey will just jump right in saying "EAT ME." Everyone is quick to tear the nice guy apart but no one wants to help them. They say, "Be a man. DON'T let her walk all over you. Quit the lost puppy act. Have a life outside of hers." Let's show these nice guys how to snag a meal..... 1. Try your best to break out of being shy more and more each day because being shy isn't gonna help you with the ladies in the long run. A lot of women think that it's cute when a guy is shy but for the most part we will see you as more of a friend then a potential boyfriend. A lot of guys think that being shy is a pheromone that'll attract MORE woman when the truth is that it is a repellant. A lot of us associate shyness as softness, indirectness and unassertiveness. Shyness is about fear and fear is the worst thing that a man can have when dealing with women. We can smell fear coming off men like it's bad body odor. When you speak, do it with confidence. If you're going to let anything come out of your mouth then say it in such a way that she'll have no doubt about whether you believe what you are saying. Take risks! If you are at a party and you see a hot girl, DON'T just stare at her all night! GO TALK TO HER! When you make your move, give her a compliment that'll start a conversation not one that will end with a simple thank you. Don't say shit like you are pretty or beautiful or anything associated with what a dork would say. These are things she probaly hears all the time from all kinds of guys! Expect other guys in the room to suddenly grow balls. They're gonna use the fact that you've broken the ice with her as their cue to move in and steal your glory. Once you make your move don't fold under pressure. If she shoots you down, tell yourself "Oh well," shake it off and approach the next one. At least you had the balls to approach her first. 2. Men that are sucessful with women are often hated on and disliked. These haters are gonna try and ruin your reputation, spread rumors and basically rain on your parade. You can't let it get to you. Nice guys tend to stress about their images, whether they are liked or not and how people see them. In the end, what everybody thinks about you doesn't mean a thing! The best way to have a depressing life is to make gaining people's acceptance an important part of yours. Nice guys have a tendency to lock themselves in a box and stifle their own dating life by being pressed to maintain the friendships that they had with people in high school and college. They hang around the same people because they are afraid of losing them. This ultimately affects their dating life. There are two problems that arise when your circle of friends become such a major part of your life and you are the nice guy that's not courageous enough to venture outside of familiar territory. a) Though you may not care about what others think it's rare when the person that you are dating or intrested in doesn't care what people say too. b) It's hard to keep people out of your businss when you're always dating people that you know. Sometimes it's nice to break up with someone without having to recieve calls from all of THEIR friends wanting to know what happened and why you aren't together anymore. Futhermore, if you have mutual friends, the break up is going to be weird on everybody. Every once in a while you will meet a nice guy who has actually ventured out of the box for the sake of dating chicks not in his circle of friends. BUT somehow you guys fuck that up too! Nice guys have a bad habit of introducing women to their female friends and asking for their opinions on the woman in question. WHAT KIND OF BULL IS THAT? Why do you need your female friends to screen the girls you like? Don't you have the balls to make a decision on your own? Some women will say they don't like the girl because they are scared this new woman will take her place in your life. It's not cute to let your friends have so much control over you that they determine who you like, sleep with and date. Stop being a wimp. If your friends don't like her, OH WELL! 3. One thing I hate is when a guy goes out of his way to say he is a nice guy. It's not like you are gonna get a cookie for that. There are alot of arseholes that are running around telling us that they are nice guys as a front. So it raises suspicion with a lot of women anytime you say you are nice. If you are a gentleman, we will find out on our own. There's no need to tell the world about it. 4. Forget what the court system says about the presumption of innocence. In order to protect yourself from being fooled or taken advantage of by us women, the best thing to do is to assume this attitude. If she tells you anything positive assume the opposite is true. Eventually the truth will come out regardless and this will eliminate all surprises. If she says, "I am not a ho," assume she has skeletons in her closet until proven otherwise. If she says, "I want to meet a nice guy," assume she is just saying that until she proves it. If she says, "I am not a gold digger," play it safe by watching out for your money. If she says things that stroke your ego it is better to assume that she is just feeding you bullshit. This is a mental exercise. I am not telling you to treat all of us like hoes or be assholes to us BUT the worst thing that you can do is believe whatever someone tells you especially when you don't know anything about them. People are always lying about themselves to cover their butts and they will say whatever will make them look better. Nice guys get themselves into trouble because they are overly concerned with proving themselves and not concerned enough about making a woman do the same. 5. Just because you are in a rush to find love doesn't mean that you have to let us know that you are either with words or actions. Nobody should be in a hurry to give their heart away. It takes time to really know a person so why are you pressed to move so fast? There is a difference between knowing the signs that reveal the basic makeup of a woman and knowing whether you can tolerate her bad habits for the rest of your life. Calling her several times a day and asking if she wants to meet up with you are signs of desperation. The first time you talk to her, act like you aren't pressed to even hook up with her. You do not need to call and be like, "Let's schedule a date for us to hang out." Guys, that is pressed! She is going to be thinking you haven't been with a woman in a while. You have to play it cool. If she is giving you attention, don't do anything that screams I AM DESPERATE! You don't have to answer the phone every single time she calls! If you want to finish watching the game then do it! 6. Another thing that bothers me about nice guys is the fact that so many of them think that crying a river is going to make us fall in love with them. WE HATE A WHINING MAN! We do not want to hear about how your ex hurt you so badly that you will never love again. Telling us how your ex cheated on you will only make us wonder whether or not you are good in bed. We aren't going to think, "What's wrong with his ex?" We are going to think, "What's wrong with him?" If you have been hurt by a woman, please don't try to use it as a way to win a new one's heart. It rarely works and it only tells us that you are easy to screw over. 7. When you are dealing with a woman, the best thing to do is not reveal anything unless she asks you a question relating to it. Most of us like a man that's mysterious. Telling us everything about your soul isn't exactly gonna give us anything to wonder about. If you are going through tough times, then why are you gonna run your mouth about it? When you tell us things like, "I just lost my job recently," you are shooting yourself in the foot. Wait until we like you to tell us that. NOT 15 MINUTES AFTER YOU MEET US! Don't even tell us what kind of girl you are looking for. Your job is to make us prove that we are the kind of woman that you want to deal with. 8. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Nice guys have a tendency to focus on one woman at a time. They forget about every other female until things fall apart with whoever they are talking to. Stop worrying about whether it would be fair to the other 20 girls if you decide later that you want to be with one of them. Do you really think most of us women are out here worrying how you'd feel if we decide to settle down with a guy that we like more than you? Most of us think, "He'll get over it." You need to do the same! You don't need to tell us anything about the other women you talk to. It is none of our business what you do when you aren't with us....UNLESS WE ARE SERIOUSLY DATING! Have fun and stop wasting energy trying to be gracious to everyone by giving them information. 9. Nice guys have a tendency to want to make love when they are in bed with a woman. It's like they want us to view every sexual experience with him as a fairy tale. From time to time it is all right to put rose petals in our bath water and then slowly make love BUT sometimes we want to be screwed long and hard! Plain and simple. Yes, sometimes we want to make love but we also enjoy the hair-pulling, ass-smacking, pretzel-twisting kind of sex, too.Every sexual encounter does not have to be like something out of a romance novel. 10. Do not go out of your way to be Mr. Nice Guy to anyone you aren't sure about. You can be respectful and a gentleman without buying roses for a girl that only wants to sleep with you! Granted, you should open doors for any woman regardless but there is no reason to wine and dine a girl that doesn't want to do anything but have casual sex. Nice guys have a bad habit of turning on their charm when a woman might not even wanna do anything but have sex. It's almost like you actually believe that you will be able to turn your hoe into a housewife. Life isn't like that. You should treat a queen like a queen and a hoe like a hoe. By asking us the right questions, it is easy to find out if a woman is a hoe or not. Some will flat out tell you. Nice guys don't understand just how dangerous it is to wear your charm on your sleeve. Deep down you hope we will say, "AWWW....he's so nice!" But that is really just a dream. The women that REALLY want a nice guy will have no problem telling you straight off that they are sick of dating jackarses and they want a guy to be romantic. Nice guys, STOP assuming EVERY woman is dying for that kind of treatment because you aren't going to find a woman who is craving the royal treatment inside of all of us. You should play it safe until you are sure that a woman is going to appreciate whatever you do. Never use the nice guy treatment as a tactic to capture a woman's heart unless she has told you this is what she wants. A lot of women also have the tendency to change up the moment that a guy buys her flowers. So if you are trying to eliminate a female without saying, "I like you but I like someone else." Then buy a rose for the woman you are having reservations about. Watch how she reacts. If she appreciates the gesture and nothing changes between you, keep her around. But if she acts weird and things start to fall apart after the rose then get rid of her. Use this as a process of elimination rather than a means to get in good favor with who you are interested in. OTHERWISE, save the roses for after you have already established a commitment. Part of being true to yourself is knowing when it's safe to reveal all of yourself not all of us deserve to see the essence of your soul and spirit.

His smile now fades away, along with the great memories we once made together. My heart starts to drop into my stomach, as we both begin to move on, and my only wish is that I could just freeze time back to the good moments. From the window I watch time slowly pass by, as my tears cloud the images of us no longer being together. Inside I'm screaming for him to think about what he's doing, but it only comes out as faint sobs. I appear happy that another has found me, yet I secretly close my eyes and wish he was still there to hold me, or to just see his smile when I awoke on his shoulder. As the days go on, I realize it was probably inevitable, and although regrets and "what if's" drown my mind everyday, reality takes hold of truth and the fact that soon it will all be a memory. It's just a matter of getting over the hardest part- saying goodbye.