I was buying a large bag of Purina puppy chow
at Wal-Mart and was in
line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog?
On impulse, I told her that no, and that I was
starting The Purina
Diet
again.
Although I probably shouldn't because I'd
ended up in the hospital
last
time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I
awakened in an intensive
care
ward with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IVs in both
arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect
diet and that the way
that
it works is to load your pants pockets with
Purina nuggets and
simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry but
that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try
it again.
I have to mention here that practically
everyone in the line was by
now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall,
black guy who was
behind
her.
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in
intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me.
I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street
licking my balls and a
car
hit me. :-P