A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with 2
drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says,
"I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today."
The bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a
drink. In fact, this one is on me."
As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, "I
would like to buy you a drink, too."
The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with 2
drops of water."
"Coming up," says the bartender.
As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, "I would
like to buy you one, too"
The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch
with two drops of water."
"Coming right up," the bartender says. As he gives her the drink,
he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only 2
drops of water?"
The old woman replies, "Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned
how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other
issue."
____________ _________ _________ _________
"OLD" IS WHEN -- your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make
love."
And you answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!"
"OLD " IS WHEN -- your friends compliment you on your new
alligator shoes and you're barefoot."
"OLD" IS WHEN -- a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker
opens the garage door.
"OLD" IS WHEN -- going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your
face.
"OLD" IS WHEN -- you don't care where your spouse goes, just as
long as you don't have to go along.
"OLD" IS WHEN -- you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor
instead of by the police.
"OLD" IS WHEN -- "getting a little action" means you don't need to
take any fibre today.
"OLD" IS WHEN -- "getting lucky" means you find your car in the
parking lot.
"OLD" IS WHEN -- an "all nighter" means not getting up to use the
bathroom.
AND, "OLD" IS WHEN -- you're not sure these are jokes!
