WayIlikeIt's blog: "Naughty & Nice"

'If you know me even a little you know I do not believe in love. Love of family, love of friends absolutely, but never love of a lover. I actually, not kidding, threw up watching 'The Notebook'. Sad I know but it is true. I hate, despise actually, romantics. I have the attention span of a 2 year old. It's funny though on any given day my mind can come up with quotes, wisdom and knowledge. I have insight into life that I truly believe in. Reading puts me to sleep. Yet most people can tell you for the most part I am intelligent. I hate chic flicks, sorry girls. I hate all about feelings, emotions and love movies. I prefer horror. Action... Raunchy comedy... Just no love... Don't believe in it. I feel it, sometimes, maybe or at least I think so. But I do not believe in it. My idea of a love story… Simple… 'Nine 1/2 Weeks' (1986)'... a movie about obsession, infatuation, temptation, lust, desire and passion. When I first saw the movie I was determined to live out every last scene of it...Every last detail. I came to find out that living the details, well, it only works if you have your Mickey Rourke. You meet so many people in life, men, and women. But if you have to explain what you desire, what your passion is, you have already ruined the chance that this person will be your Mickey. He either is, or he is not. If you have to tell someone what your passions are even when they give them to you it is not the same. They gave them only because you told them you wanted them. Not because they could sense, feel, and tell what your true passion and desires are. Passion either happens or it does not. What you live for is that moment when just feeling their breath on you, near you, just makes you feel desires you simply cannot explain. Even when they are not there, not beside you, a simple thought, a simple memory, can bring that moment back to you as if you were still there, in that moment, living it. Breathing it...Feeling it. Beauty fades. Lust becomes routine. Passion feels like a chore. Eventually desire dissipates. That feeling is just... gone. You would do anything to get it back. It feels that good. But you can never get back, once you lose it, it is gone. You can get some semblance of what you had, what you felt, maybe... but it becomes mundane... Ritual... Habit... Necessary... Empty... Hollow...Just gone. So you can stay with... gone. Or you can search once more for that sought after intense lust that you feel in every single tiny part of your body. In a way you simply just could not even begin to explain. People judge me... constantly. Society demands you are either a good girl … or a bad girl. But you simply cannot be both. Some people, well they love my quotes, my inspiration, and my knowledge. But the minute they see the other side of me, the very bad, naughty passionate side I am no longer seen as an intelligent woman. The flip side of that is those who know my passionate, extremely naughty side do not like to see my intelligent side. It bores them... annoys them. But for me I am always honest about whom I am. I would rather you hate me for who I am, than love me for who I am not. At least you know that you get the real me. But often that honesty causes me more bad than good. I offend more than I befriend. People do not like honesty. They only allow themselves to feel what is acceptable to others. Most people have at least one desire, one side to themselves that they are unwilling or ashamed of and refuse to share. You can ask them, how they feel, what do they truly desire, but you will almost never get real, raw true honesty. Almost never. So people hide. They hide themselves. They hide their desires. Problem is passion and desire is what gives us our greatest moments in life. It is not all about sex. Not even close. Love, pain, joy, hurt, everything in life that we feel, especially the things we feel… so intently is all derived from passion and desire. You give up that part of yourself you die a little each day. But people tell themselves they are not really giving up their passions; they just are not admitting them. They certainly cannot talk about them. They would be judged....harshly. Ridiculed even. And often people have one extreme or the other. They either have this careless passion, with no self control. Or they have self control with no passion. Everyone dies but most people....well, they do not REALLY live. Life is so very short. We get but one, at least in this lifetime. We are all living on borrowed time. Yet people hide. Bury themselves. Become who others expect them to be. Certainly not who they truly are. So now what? They are living their one very short life for someone else? Not for themselves? What a very sad life it would be if we were all made the same. We thought the same. We felt the same. We wanted the same. Yet you have those people who judge when you are not who they believe you ought to be. So many people fancy themselves as the authority on right and wrong, good and bad. You see so many people who live in glass houses throwing stones at those who live in brick houses. The best things in life are never easy, that is why they are so sought after, so enjoyable in the long run. No one ever said it would be easy to follow your dreams, be who you want to be, they can only tell you it is worth it. Obsession ~ Infatuation ~ Temptation ~ Passion ~ Desire ... So this my friends is my love story.'