Ever had someone who could pick you up and throw you down in the same sentence? Ever have someone who claimed to love you and all they ever did was hurt you? Ever have someone who's touch was rarely loving and that caused more pain than you thought you could endure? Ever have someone who would rather call you a degrading name than your own? Ever have a person who you were so afraid of that you stayed for fear of leaving them and dealing with their wrath?
I just left that person.
I am starting all over.
I have the most important person by my side, My Daughter. She is keeping me together, though at times I just want to fall apart. I know I can't rely on her that way, it's not fair for her. She doesn't understand the situation. She will adjust in time, as will I. We are going to have a lot to learn and a long way to travel before we are able to put the past behind us.
I didn't suffer alone. She was there. She heard the yelling and crying. She endured some minor verbal abuse, but abuse is abuse. I do feel that I let her down and that I was a bad mother for having let that happen to her.
My family says I'm a good mother because I got her out of the situation. I should have been a better mother and NEVER have brought her into the situation to begin with.
