UpNorthSteve's blog: "The Up-North Journal"

I deserved to be someone's priority but I was not. Instead I was second-place to lost hope, a broken marriage and empty dreams with someone who simply didn't share them anymore.
Her promises to me broken ~ mine to her ignored ~ I was strung along like a safety net in case everything else first, would collapse, and like some kind of consolation prize, there I'd be. Except I'm a real person with feelings.. And I'm not dumb. I heard the words 'I love you' but received not even the common courtesies one could expect even from a simple friendship. All to chase rainbows.. For "No valid reason." I was abandoned in lieu of a double-life based on lost hopes she knew in her heart could not possibly be.. When we'd already decided that I would help new ones come true. The real-world we would've created took a back seat to all this and online games that tomorrow.. next month.. next year will not mean a thing. Imagine the power and connection of just doing something real.. Not because you have to at some maintenance level, but because it's real and meaningful.Because you want to. Because tomorrow.. next month.. ten years from now, those missed opportunities could've meant everything.

Nah.. She just wasn't all that into me. Once was.. But all that changed on a roll of the dice. On the hope that a dead relationship and old broken dreams of the past would magically come back to life. But no.. Because everyone knows people just don't change. She saw what was ~ and what could have been. Yet those dice were never rolled for me. Fear of the unknown can do that sometimes.. But obviously she just wasn't into me.

So I choose to take my own advice: Never make someone your priority, when all you are to them is an option!

We started out great... Had our own dreams and our own direction. I made her my priority. I made real promises for a real future.. I was absolutely prepared to change my whole world around. But.. Sometimes even that, against the hope of greener grass, isn't good enough. I deserve much better than to simply be an option.

I miss my adventure partner. I miss MY dreams. But I just wasn't her thing. I never will be.

Time to move on...