JT's blog: "Welcome to my mind"

I am no poet, this is not for your entertainment, this is me getting some stuff off my chest, if you don't like it, don't read it.

This place in my mind is creepy, I hate it. I close my eyes and I am standing in an old shut down amusement park,  this once bright lit area filled with laughter has constant reminders of how things used to be...the popcorn on the ground remains like miniature corpses of memories.  I sweep them up, try to make things neat again but no matter how much I sweep up, more remains and the wind blows the bits all over again.  I have tried to leave this place behind, but the gates are locked, I can't get out, worse yet, nobody can get in, my own little prison fantasy land.  A figure in the dark...my mind playing tricks...maybe...but the figure draws closer...looks like her but, no, put it out of your head.  I go back to sweeping up the bits, I try to ignore the figure...the fear, ....closer, as the figure draws near, I can actually smell her....has she come to turn the lights on?  The memories spread out again...useless, closer, the figure stops and looks at me, no ignoring her now, it is really her!  She moves closer, one arm open for an embrace...the other behind her back...In this amusement park....all I remember of her is trust, but as we embrace, she now feels cold, something is different...   Pain, the knife in my back is in a place I can not seem to reach, I try to yell for help but there's nobody there...the gates are locked the knife remains... the dark amusement park becomes darker.  If only she would turn the lights on, and fill this place with happiness again....darker, I slump against the once famous roller coaster I had been so fond of, the familiar ups and downs, the high speed reckless turns...darker....maybe if I close my eyes for a minute the pain will dull.....  I am back in my bed now, ready to put on my smile and face the day, may as well smile while things are bright, because when I close my eyes, I am standing in an old shut down amusement park....