Pimptation's blog: "Random Musings and Filth!!!"

Why I can't substitute teach no mo...... “This couldn’t be right,” I thought as I looked at the roll sheet. This ain’t nobody’s real name. Ah hell no, “Courvoisier?” “Here,” he said. I was stunned. Somebody actually named him after a cognac. Yeah, Courvoisier was somebody’s name way before it became a cognac and I’m sure that somewhere in France there is a Courvoisier kickin’ it somewhere… But not in Bellvue Jr High in in Memphis, TN........ Say it ain’t so. I mean, that’s like naming your kid “Jesus.” Black people don’t do that. Courvoisier? C’mon. 2 weeks later I got a new student on my roll sheet “No,” I thought. “Hell to the nah.” What is going on? “Lukeemiah,” I called... “Here,” she said. Lukeemiah turned out to be very smart and quite possibly physic because she either read my mind or the frozen look on my face and said, “My mama didn’t know it was a cancer. She had heard a nurse say it, and she thought it was a cute name…” *blank stare* That semester was fun for me, Lukeemiah, Courvoisier and Tanqueray. I called them by their nick names Ki-Ki, Vos’ and Tee. Lovely. For future reference: 1) If you're going to name your child after an alcoholic beverage, please think twice about it if it’s a cognac. 2)If your going to name your child after a disease, please do your research to see if there is a cure. 3) If you’re going go name your child after God (like Jah, God or Jesus), please consult your parents. Below are a few other names to think about twice: Maybe I’m trippin’. But I think that that one of these names are enough. Katrina Tupac Shobad Tookie Morphious Jah Beynoce Tito Outakeesha Nacious Amunique Chardonnay (although I actually like this one) Bacadi Rolex Daiquiri Bonequeesha Aquanetta La Royce Iamychael. I've experienced this working in the health field as a Speech Language Pathologist......especially in the MCS system...... Often you cannot even "pronounce" the names of these children which would causes them embarrassment. .......But more funny or sad than that is in the newborn nursery many mothers couldn't spell the names they gave their kids...they had to sit and figure them out "phonetically".......How about Bonequisha? I think that one says it all. i think a lot of it has to do with black folks trying to connect with some authentic sense of blackness......and that would be to make up names that aren't "white" sounding... that being said....I've always wanted to name my first child Gilgamesh, but no one has ever felt that suggestion..... I'm just sayin..... Intriguing...I have met a young girl named Simplicity from my time in education.... One day a teacher in Simplicity's class was irate as she read a note the mother sent to school. I asked what was wrong (nosey am I) and she handed me the note and left the room to cool off. The note read; "My daughter's name is spelled SYMPLICITTI. Please do not send home her progress reports with her named misspelled again." I didn't know what to do with that at all. While I understand this may have cultural implications etc..... but come on hello! ahhh the wonders of Special Education in Memphis.... I mean seriously.....I can feel the desire to try to connect to some sense of "Blackness"... I interpret that as an attempt to keep it African. But I've always thought that African names were given with purpose and intent..... I think some of us have gotten away from that part and have focused more on the "sound" and uniqueness of a name--that's ignorance........ I mean, what does that do? luckily my mother didn't name me tyquesha or something like that...... but i also can't say that i enjoy my listening to people bug out about Kaviar as a name either....and its a looooong story how that name came to be..... But....I don't think that these kids ( and yes I said kids because black people with college degrees and/or who have traveled the world are not naming their children after liquor) are choosing names with any sort of sense of blackness or with an African identity in mind....They are just trying to give their children unique names because they have no sense of strong cultural identity and don't know what other factors to use to name their children other than "cuteness" or "uniqueness". my ex girlfriend's godson's mother .....(who I refer to as T.B.M. (that's Triflin Baby's Mama)..... her name is TiaSonya... her sisters are TiaMoyo and Shaiwan (SHY-WON)....... YIKES!! Like once they take the baby from the womb, clean them all up, and the parents are looking into these new little faces at the sweetest baby (who later grows up to be a nightmare)...how does one say, "Aww...let's name them ________." Damn shame... that being said....I plan to name my child Caleb or Riley..... I love Simplicity.....lemme clear it up......i meant simplicity when it comes to naming children. NOT THE ACTUAL NAME then again.....If I meant it as a name, I woulda spelled it "SYMPLICITTI." .....Right? that is all... /rant....