ZeusianProphecy's blog: "The Cerebral Catacombs"

  For my first review... I thought about doing some sort of video game review... but I decided against it once I got the chance to see this movie. I can't recall exactly where I'd first heard of it, but the name alone stuck in my mind until I got my grubby little hands on it: Tokyo Gore Police.
   The title says it all. So does the promotional poster.

   

   Right away, it should be obvious what you're in store for: Excessive amounts of gore. What you might not be prepared for, is a properly put together movie that combines the excessive cheesiness of most modern gore flicks, with the campiness of early 80's slasher flicks, to a superbly acted (though shittily dubbed) cast of characters.
   Those with an eye for Japanese actresses (they don't ALL look alike, trust me) will notice right away the main character is played by none other than Eihi Shiina whose previous work includes "Dog Food", and her internationally recognised role as Asami Yamazaki in Takashi Miike's cult hit film: "Audition".

   Keeping in her tradition for landing bizarre female lead parts; the character of Ruka in TGP is an extremely anti-social, self-harming badass. This element (self-harming) is played out in what is the cheesiest, and highly blood-soaked intro of any movie, ever. She hates herself, and everyone around her; which may be due to the death of her father (outlined in the beginning as well). Amazingly enough, Ruka never falls prey to the "Damsel In Distress Syndrome" that most "badass" female characters fall into during progression of the movie. She stays a consistent force to be reckoned with in each scene.
   Her stoic attitude, and almost lack of compassion makes her one of the best leading female characters in movie history; at least in my opinion. Her character turn later on in the film is a bit of a shocker, but then again, this movie relies heavily on shock to get the point across.

   The movie opens with a series of images of various types of flowers. The setting is peaceful as the credits roll; and a soft, yet haunting tune plays in the background. Children are at play on swings, and on a carousel at a carnival/park. The main character, Ruka, narrates as a young child: "My dad is the best. He's a police officer and he loves me very much! He's kind; strong; and ALWAYS gets the bad guy! Just like a superhero!" The movie comes to a shot of Ruka's father, waving and saluting in full police uniform. A smile is on his face, and we can see there's a parade of sorts going on about him.

   

   "My dad's always helping people. Like when they get lost or something. Everybody likes him because he's such a great guy! I'd like to become a police officer; just like my dad." As she continues to narrate, we watch her father; a man to be admired. That is... until his head is blown apart in an extremely gory (and excessive) fashion.

  Enter adult Ruka; TGP's protagonist. She's on the scene of a hostage situation in a high rise building. Cops are storming around and inside the building in an attempt to apprehend what we can assume to be a highly dangerous criminal. There's plenty of exposition here that sets the tone for the rest of the movie (as if Ruka's father's head exploding wasn't enough of an indicator already!).
   A woman begins to announce over the radio the name of the criminal and his crime (Koji Tanaka; kidnapping, assault, and murder). As in the spirit of the Video Girl from "Battle Royale", the APB Announcer is a spunky, bizarrely constructed woman with 80's hair and a bubbly attitude. The comical nature of the character sets the secondary tone for the movie; thus establishing the dark comedy nature of TGP.

  

   The criminal is a man who kidnaps women and eats them. And he's currently chewing away at his latest victim as the police force moves in on him. Through establishing shots, we learn that he's a robber, convicted of numerous assaults; and really loves chainsaws. The police continue to set up fortifications as Ruka sits in the police car; cutting her arm up in an extremely bloody (albeit cheesy) sequence.

   After the expositions are done, the police move in on the position and attack Koji. Unleashing a torrent of bullets on him; filling him with holes of lead and somehow managing to shoot off his right arm. Koji drops to his knees, and begins to strain and writhe in pain as his body undergoes a dramatic change.
   Soon, his arm regrows, with a chainsaw attached to it. The chainsaw, is also attached to a long chain which can be detracted and retracted at will. Koji begins to slaughter the police by slicing through one officer's neck.

   "Ruka! He's an ENGINEER!" the APB Lady announces, and Ruka finally exits the vehicle with a katana on her back. Cutting back to the police, they're being brutally cut apart by Koji. Again, we return to Ruka; who pulls a rocket launcher out from the back of the police car, and stares up at where Koji is currently situated. As Koji moves in to kill the last remaining police, Ruka jams the end of the launcher onto the ground, and literally ROCKETS up to where Koji and the police are.
    And yes, it's as badass as it sounds.

  

    Ruka lands and deflects Koji's chainsaw which ends up getting the edge of the blade caught in one officer's mouth. A scene that is extremely gory, and ends up painting the entire area (camera included) in the campiest looking blood imaginable. The police finally run, leaving Ruka to face Koji alone. She picks up his old chainsaw, and the two begin the best chainsaw duel in cinema history (to HELL with Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2!).

  

   Ruka manages to dismember Koji's new right hand (the chainsaw), and wields her new prize as Koji sprays immeasurable (and inhuman) amounts of blood around the area.

  

    Ruka proceeds to randomly dismember parts of Koji (an ear... for instance). Upon feeling that enough is enough, Ruka drops the chainsaws and unsheathes her Katana in one of the sexiest "Female Brandishes Weapon" sequences IMAGINABLE.

  
    I got serious chills just from the way Eihi moves throughout this scene.

   Ruka slices Koji in half, and re-sheathes the katana as the title credit slams onto the screen.

 

   This intro sums up the remainder of the movie. Rather than spoil it for you, you have to get yourself a copy. I will say that the remainder of the film follows Ruka as she unearths the secrets behind the Engineers (people who can regrow lost limbs [body segments] as weapons), how her father died (it really happened in the movie), and comes to terms with her destiny.

   What I can comment on, is that this movie promises buckets of gore, sex, violence, and the most bizarre story since Ichi The Killer's. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that TGP is on par with ANY Miike flick in terms of story-telling, acting, casting, and setting. However, the cinematography in TGP is extremely haphazard and schizophrenic. The camera will dance all across the screen, causing a lot of action scenes to look like nauseating exercises in futility. I found myself straining to watch certain parts of the screen just to catch some of the action. However, this isn't prevalent throughout the entirety of the film, so it's not too much of a hassle.

   The sets are well put together, the gore scenes are hilarious, shocking, and entertaining; and the story is well written (for a gory, schlocky flick that is).

   I strongly recommend watching this movie in original Japanese, with Subtitles; as the English dubbing is some of the worst heard since 4Kids brought One Piece to America. :shudders:

  I give Tokyo Gore Police 4 stars. It delivers everything it promised, and in a way that isn't ridiculous or annoying (Hudson Hawk)