Ok.
>
>I've seen two shows lately that went on and on about how mid-life is a
>great time for women. Just last week Oprah had a whole show on how great
>menopause will be... Puhleeeeeeeze! I've had a few thoughts of my own
>and
>would like to share them with you. Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or
>maybe even just pushing your luck) you'll probably relate.
>
>Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us
>plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.
>
>In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wing spans. We are
>no
>longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.
> Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see
>your rear without turning around.
>
>Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the
>only time someone will ask you to appear topless.
>
Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top
>and scream, "Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell and those will too."
>Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're
>sitting on our biggest ones.
>
>Mid-life is when you look at your-know-it-all, beeper-wearing teenager and
>think: "For this I have stretch marks?"
>In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can
>retain is water.
>Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand McNally
>-- more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin .
>Mid-life means that you become more reflective...You start pondering the
>"big" questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy choice
>ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?
>But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important.
>We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double, but our loved
>ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge
>that you have now, for the body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies
>simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired.
>That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!
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