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Okay, I'm writing this today, meant for yesterday, but didn't have time to write it....
The 19th of March... This day, I will never forget. It is the day I got married to my ex-husband. 03-19-2007 would have been my10 year anniversary. While I am not attempting to live in the past, I figure I'd write a few things anyway.
From the time I met James to the day the divorce was final, it was 11-3/4 years. I'm not gonna sit here and say how bad it was, cause it wasn't all bad. It was only bad in the very end because I could not deal with things he did. He didn't do anything terribly, terribly wrong. He just didn't use his brain and got his priorities all screwed up. His two years in prison really hurt me and our children. When he got out, he was just mean. When he went in, he wanted me to get an abortion of our youngest child and I couldn't do that. That's when all the arguing started.
Before that however, even tho he wouldn't get a job, we did have great times. I worked and he did the house husband thing. I came home to a fresh, hot dinner every day. He cleaned the house, and took care of the kids. Again, in the end, it wasn't quite like that before he went to prison, but it was decent before then. Except when we lived with my parents, he kinda let my mom babysit the kids while he screwed around with his habits... Anyway, there was actually some good times.
Like when my son was born. He was there with me through the c-section (which was emergency)... He was there by my side when my older daughter was born, as well. We went to places like Gatlinburg, Tennessee and concerts like Ozfest, The Ramones, The Grateful Dead, and LalaPalooza. When people saw us together, they thought we were newlyweds, even after being together for 8 years. It was like that all the way up until he went to prison.
He did it to himself, and us, and that's what killed me. Two years alone, two years with nobody, two years of raising kids and having a baby while he sat in prison. The only time he was nice to me while in prison, was when he wanted me to send him something. I hated it. But, I sat there and waited for him. I waited to see if things would go back to normal when he got out. I waited for nothing, because he didn't change when he got out. He wasn't the man I married. He was evil, mean, and vindictive.
So, anyway, I guess I have dwelled on some bad points, but obviously, there were good points along the way, as well.
So, back to my anniversary.... On March 19th, 1997, we got married. It was 2 days before my son's first birthday, and my daughter was only 8 days old. I joke that our getting married was just due to post-partum depression and I wasn't thinking straight, but it wasn't. I wanted to be married. I wanted to have a "hubby"...
So, anyway... Back to the marriage thing... He woke me up that day, out of the blue, and said... "Hey, let's get married"... So, we went to the courthouse, got our license, then drove to Service Merchandise and bought our rings, and finally drove to the Justice of the Peace. Cody (almost 1 year old) was the best man, and Dominique (only 8 days old) was the maid of honor.
The only thing I regret about the way we got married, was that my family didn't get to see it. We didn't even have pictures or anything. Just came home and said "Mom, we're married"... Of course, mom expected that to happen, so she wasn't a bit surprised.
So, yeah, that's about it for what "would have" been my 10 year anniversary. My only hope is that one day, I WILL have a 10 year anniversary, and be just as in love on that day as the day I get married.
The following is a picture of us after Cody was born, and before Dominique was born. Cody was such a little guy, but such a happy baby!!!
James, Carol & Cody
