Here you are. Bunches of people crowded into someone's house. This
is
great. Who's running this thing? Oh, that lady over there in the
corner. Should I say anything to her? Nah. What if I stand in the
wrong place? Do I have to tell somebody if I want to go to the
bathroom? Whose **kid is that running around the altar? A paper--am
I
supposed to say this? I just want to stand here and watch everyone
else.
Whether you are a stranger to first time circle gatherings, a pro, or
an intermittent guest, there are certain ways to conduct yourself so
that you will definitely be remembered by the hostess and thereby be
invited back. There are also things you can do that will guarantee
you
will never be invited back in this lifetime, or in any other. To make
sure your presence is requested again and again, keep the following
hints in mind:
When you arrive, seek out the Hostess/Host and present yourself. Do
not give him/her your complete resume, however. She (or he) is not
going to remember it anyway, nor will they be impressed--probably the
opposite.
Do not cart a ton of ritual gear with you. Ask beforehand if you
should bring anything special, and leave it at that.
If your Hostess/Host wears street clothes, don't show up in a kilt.
Always bring the Hostess/Host a small gift. We are not talking Rodeo
Drive here. Something little and pleasant will do. Stay away from gag
gifts. If you are a regular, go in for the practical items--paper
towels, coffee, disposable cups, tea, toilet paper.
If you are asked to bring food, don't wuss out and bring a bag of
potato chips. How gauche! Ask the hostess approximately how many
people
** will be there and buy accordingly. If the hostess says you don't
need to bother, **do it anyway. And what if you forgot the food? Turn
yourself right around and find the nearest grocery store or leave a
five or ten dollar bill where you know the hostess/host will find it
later. And no, I don't buy the line you have two children to support
all by yourself, you had to make your car payment last night, or
someone else can handle it because they have a better job
than you.
Take a bath. You think I jest?
Do not bring your children unless they have been specifically invited
by name and you know there will be both accommodations and supervision
for them. The last thing a hostess/host wants to hear is "What do you
mean, you don't have drinks for the children?" or "You don't have a
place where Gertrude can lie down?" or even worse, "Jimmy, he's such a
little animal. He just put a hole in your door, isn't that cute?"
If you break it, you've bought it. Even if the hostess through
gritted teeth says, "Oh, don't worry about it,"--you'd better be
worrying your carcass off. If she won't tell you how much it cost, do
some price checking on your own later and either buy her/him something
of the equivalent and deliver it at a later date or if you won't be in
town, send her/him a money order with a kind note of regret. Hostesses
and hosts have memories like elephants. They are not likely to forget
you set their table on fire with your portable
grill.
Major damage? Well, Goddess we hope not. Obviously, the above
applies here, even if you have to make payments for the rest of your
life, but what if the culprit won't 'fess up to it (or won't take the
responsibility to replace it)? Be the first to take up a collection to
replace whatever it was, even though it wasn't your fault. This will
serve two purposes: make the culprit feel like a you-know-what and
shows
your host/hostess you all want to come back. It will also win you
personal Witchie-points.
Be a good witch during circle. Don't talk out of turn, whisper or
laugh at someone or something. Don't talk about the movie you went to
last night, or how Lady Bee-Bop does the circle casting better. Don't
whine and say, "Well, what are we doing now? I don't understand!"
Keep
your mouth shut and use your eyes, provided they are in working order,
of course. If not, keep your mouth shut and listen. "Everyone in the
circle is a participant, there are no spectators," says a friend of
mine. She's right. If you are a quarter, be that quarter. If you
don't have a speaking part, your focus and
energy is still required. You are just as much a part of that circle
as
those with major roles.
Don't wander around the circle aimlessly. Keep your place and stay
there. Never walk widdershins in a circle unless the High Priest or
Priestess tells you to.
Never enter a circle if you are mad at someone there. Go home
quietly if you can't handle it. Don't make someone's house a battle
ground and **don't make a big deal of the fact that you are leaving or
scream you are being psychically attacked and somebody come help you
quick. The hostess/host may**put you out through the doggie door.
Never, ever make a scene or denigrate someone in circle or afterward
during the celebration. This is bad manners, bad breeding and bad form
all rolled into one. You won't be highly thought of if you tell Lady
Crackerjack she called the quarters wrong or you don't believe angel
energy was appropriate in a Celtic focus ritual. Pentacles to athames
she'll tell the hostess about your big mouth and guess who won't be
invited back next time?
Don't wander aimlessly throughout someone's house, turn on the
television, fiddle with the stereo, or rummage in the kitchen. You are
a guest, not a roommate.
Don't grab the first respectable person and tell them all your
problems, from the bad timing of your birth into the horrendous way
your
last girlfriend treated you. Circle people can't grant goddesshood and
the confessional belongs to those other guys.
Finally--learn when to go home. As your Hostess/Host teeters on the
brink of exhaustion, don't remain planted like a sequoia. Pack up your
gear, say thank you very much for a lovely evening (even if you had a
despicable time) and toddle on home.
If you think I made all this good stuff up off the top of my head to
amuse you--think again. Just because you are a Pagan doesn't mean you
burned Miss Manners in effigy and can turn your back on the stuff Mom
tried to teach you. In fact, being Pagan means you care more about the
people you come in contact with and their overall happiness and
prosperity. Exercising good manners keeps everyone full of energy and
cheer and anxious to do circle again soon.
