damn it! i find it hard to be alone when surrounded by people! though when i look out at the people i am surrounded by i am alone! but then you think about it! an try to ignore the fact that life is lonely! i like to focus on other things! like fun an drunken things! of course we must all sober up sometime! of course when is sober up i try to find some other means to end my lucid thoughts! which never works! so being drunk is really merely a form of escape! but i like to escape, the real world or reality is a bitch, and i prefer to live n my own fantasy! lost in a sea of nothing but my own creations an if other people wander into my world then so be it! but should i feel guilty if people get lost in my world! no i think not! they knew the risk and if they didnt then they should have thought more on the matter! why join someone else's world. my world is created solely for my own fun! join my world at your own risk! i dont think i should be responsible for your loss at my fun! i mean hell, if you didnt need the outlet then you wouldnt have found me out! i am merely trying to pass the years away with a grin like everyone else! is it my fault that my passing is filled with nudity and drunkenness and such that others feel the need to join in! regardless of the stablity of the owneners reality! I am tired of being blamed! fuck you and all those that get caught up in my momentary passes of time! i am not to be blamed because others need amusment! and mine is all they could find or is the best they could find at the time! i do what i do because i need to be sidetracked! if you fall in the firing range then dont blame me for being shot! we all must be shot sometime and its how well we fall that makes the us who we are! dignity damn it! i lack it and at the same time am full of it! fuck the world for all its lying!
