so many things are going on right now and i'm just kinda lost in all of them. firsdt of all my boyfreind is upset about something and i'm getting the distinct impression it's me, but i can't understand why i would be upsetting him. i wish he'd just talk to me and tell me what it was., i've lost him once and i just don't want that to happen agian. on top of that my checking is overdrawn and i'm not getting child support agian davey is out of the hospital but he's still not doing so good. there's work and school and davey and church and bills and to top it all off i was extreamly ill yesterday but still i managed to drag myself into work and still be able to sit up in my chair. yeah it ws that bad i got sick 13 times! but still people keep asking more of me as if i could spare anymore. brandy is in cali8 agian and i miss her but i'm a little glad she runs too much of a fast paced lifestyle for me anymore. besides those guys she was hanging out with kinda creeped me out. any way i'm just stressed out to no end. my freind monika now lives in the same appartment buildings as me and i want so badly to be able to send her a house waming present but i can't and i've quit smaking not because i wanted to though i was thinking about it but because i have no money to continue doing so. lif just really sucks right now and i all i want to do sometimes i just crawl in a corner and cry but i don't have time to do that so i just keep running forever running for ever trying to my davey and my life better and forever worrying about that day when i'm finally going to crash.
