pandaowner psychos paradise's blog: "the life of a juggalo"

dear grandma
You're right....im the reason that i was pushing my family away. But what you dont relize is that im working on getting a relationship with my family. me and my dad are getting along better then before...me and my mom are still working on ours.And me and my sister are getting along great. Just because kaila,brian and eric went and got a car dont mean im ready to drive. i guess getting a house is not good enough for you. im not like the rest of my family..I DON'T want to drive right now...why because im not ready..and you know what its NOT my fault that we are homeless. i moved in with Nicole some time in october.Rent has not been paid sense july and the water sese october. i was asking you well b4 the cops came and told us not to stay and we had to get out. so its not my fault...you dont know the entire story. so thats where that statement came from...i asked for your help and to just send it to me. i sent u an email saying i needed the money and to email me back for the address. did you email me back no...my dad knows where the money is going to be used for he was the one who said it was okay and to ask you for it.

I had news that i wanted to tell you but never mind. there is no point when you think im this horrible monster. yea I used to push my family but im not. im not the same person that you think i am. im thriving right now im doing the right thing...im going to change the world. My dad has stoped drinking are u going to call him? are u going to just call and talk to him...will you help im stay sober...your probly going to say that he needs to do it himself. he needs all the suport he can get. i feel like my dad is the only one besides kaila who wants me to do better. to treat people with respect and kindness. to treat people with and how you want to be treted.

and no we are not going to be hopping from place to place...i plan on getting a job i plan on paying rent i plan on doing what i got to do. its not just for me its for the peple that im living wth. you allways say im selfish im not. once i get a job and i hold it for at least 6 months im going to take out a loan and buy a house...why because i want to help other people....my friends who need a place to stay....you probly dont think that i can do it.

i take responsobility now for some of the shit that has happend in my past. but the blame can't be put solely on me. just so you know you can go see my rents im not going to be there.
you need to get over the past and forgive me. thats the only way that me and you can work on our relationship. the longer u hold a grude the harder it will be to forgive. once it becomes harder to forgive you will be miserable.