Well day Chrstmas Eve kinda sucks! Grandpa was re submitted into teh hospital and now hes comming home! YAY! only hes in his last stage and no more chemo! HOSPICE is taking over. So I give my grandpa a few weeks to a few months! So could I let myself cry when I found out? No, i hate to cry I'll cry when I am ready. Wierd thing is that I was doing a painting with a heart monitoring with the line and i was going to do struggeling line that red and all black background with a light shinning on it and call it hope. I have little hope. My grandpa cant walk me down the aisle. He wont be here to be great. He just isnt going to be around and it feels liek my heart is being ripped out and throwin in a blender! So keep praying for him guys! Also he isn't doing chemo anymore. He's giving up. So it wont be long. I just pray he wont be completely doped up and can live before hes gone! I just dont know why him? there are murders who live long healthy lives but its my papa who dies young? well hes 78(i think) thats still a descent age! so who knows! I wont ever understand it! I just have to be strong and see him tomorrow!
Anyoen got a good joke they can tell me? I really need some kind words! plus sean and i will be a year on new years eve!
xo's
Amber
